Legend of Zelda: The Four Swords, well sorta
by paintballer
Summary: A humorous tale of Link, Link and Link, and well Link and their magical weapon, known as the Four Sword. Complete.
1. The Seal is Broken

Legend of Zelda: Four Swords, well sorta   
  
Ok, I'm writing this story for fun, and though I've never played Four Swords (no one to play with) I think that this could be entertaining(for awhile) One quick note, this takes place after OoT, Link has been sent back in time, and then grown up to his 17 year old self again, he has most of his items, and with that, let's begin.  
  
Chapter One: The Seal in Broken  
  
On a beautiful spring day Link was riding Epona across Hyrule Field, with the wind blowing through his hair, when Zelda called him telepathically.  
  
Zelda: Link, can you hear me now?  
  
Link: Zelda what did we say about you making jokes?  
  
Zelda: Not to make them because no one laughs with me, just at me.  
  
Link: Un huh, now then, what did you want?  
  
Zelda: I need you to meet me on the Southeastern Edge of Hyrule field, I'll explain when you get here.  
  
And with that Link rode on towards where Zelda told him to meet her, he was near Kakariko Village though, so it would take him some time.  
  
He finally arrived to see Zelda standing amidst some trees and rocks. Dismounting he stood before Zelda.  
  
Zelda: Took you long enough.  
  
Link: Well what do you want from me, I was on the other side of Lon Lon Ranch.  
  
Zelda: Fine anyway, it's good your here, we need to check the Seal on Vaati the Wind Mage.  
  
Link: The wha on the whut what?  
  
Zelda: The Seal that keeps Vaati the Wind Mage imprisoned, much like the one on Ganon.  
  
Link: Oh, huh?  
  
Zelda: Nevermind.  
  
She then began feeling along the rock wall looking for any abnormalities(oooo big word) and finding a spot she pushed it in, the ground then began quaking, the rock wall lifted and the ground sank down revealing steps leading down.  
  
Link: And you never told me about this because?  
  
Zelda: It was need to know, and you didn't need to know.  
  
Link: Ok fine.  
  
Zelda: It should be just up ahead.  
  
Link: What should?  
  
Zelda: *Sigh* the Seal Link, the Seal.  
  
Link: Oh yeah that.  
  
Zelda: There it is, looks ok, except, wait a minute.  
  
Zelda then walks up to it and begins inspecting the Sword that is stuck in a pedestal(much like the Master Sword)   
  
Zelda:Hmmm, looks fine, ok we can go.  
  
Link: Wait wait, whats it do?  
  
Zelda: Don't even think about it Link, it has to keep Vaati Sealed away.  
  
Link: Oh alright fine.  
  
Unknown black thing:MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
  
UBT grabs Zelda and hits Link back  
  
Zelda: Ahhhh, unhand,errr, let go of me you feind.  
  
UBT: It's an appendage. Oh how lucky for me, I finally get out of that dreadful place that I was locked in, do you know what it's like to be traped in a Chuckie Cheeses for 500 years?  
  
Link: Uh, no can't say that I do, by the way who are you?  
  
UBT: Oh yes that, sorry, I am Vaati the Wind Mage   
  
*Sounds of Lightining and Thunder*  
  
Link: Really? Pleased to meet you.  
  
Zelda: Uh Link?  
  
Zelda who is still held in Vaati's hand err, appendage is waiting for Link to come to her aid  
  
Link: Just a second Zelda, so is being a Wind Mage fun?  
  
Vaati: Ah, it's not bad, the salary is good, benefits, vacations when I want them, I'm pretty much my own boss.  
  
Link: That's nice, I have to report to this slavedriver. She's a really twit.  
  
Zelda: I heard that.  
  
Link: Oh hi Zelda, uh, um, I was talking about Impa, yeah yeah. Uh.  
  
Vaati: Anyway, it was nice talking to you Link but I've really got to get going, I've got evil armies to summon, Zelda to marry, and Hyrule to take over, I'm swamped.  
  
Link: Oh it's ok, no problem, I'll see ya later, hey wait, Zelda you didn't tell me you were getting married! How could you keep such a thing a secret from me?  
  
Zelda: Can't imagine, you idiot(under her breath)   
  
Link: Well have a nice honeymoon  
  
Vaati: Thanks, oh and you are invited to the wedding you know.  
  
Link: Oh really, oh that's great, thanks.  
  
Zelda: LINK! YOU IDIOT, grab the Four Sword and rescue me!  
  
Link: The what?  
  
Zelda: Errrr, that Sword right there, grab it, it will make four of you, then you all can save me.  
  
Link: Oh, ok.  
  
Vaati: Later Link.  
  
Link: Bye!  
  
Zelda: Maybe if Mario isn't to busy.  
  
And with that said, Vaati and Zelda disappear into a strong wind.  
  
Link: Ok then, so uh, what was I gonna do.   
  
30 Minutes later  
  
Link: I know it was important  
  
1 hour later  
  
Link: It was it was  
  
2 days later  
  
Link: Gotta pee, gotta pee  
  
5 Mintues later  
  
Link: Ok, I was gonna, oh yeah pull the sword right.  
  
Link then walked up to the sword, and pulling with all his might it came up rather easily  
  
Link: Well that was easy I wonder why it's called the AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
As Link was pondering that fact he was split, or duplicated, whichever you wish to look at, into 4, Himself wearing Green tunic, the next wearing a red tunic, then next wearing a blue tunic and the last wearing a purple tunic.  
  
{A/N: Just to let you know, Green Link is the real Link, and will just be Link, Red Link will be RLink, blue will be BLink, and so on and so forth}  
  
Link: Wow, that's wild.  
  
Rlink: You're tellin me.  
  
Blink: I feel funny.  
  
Plink: Why am I wearing purple?  
  
Navi: Hi Link BWAHHH! What happened!?  
  
Link: Uh nothin.  
  
Rlink: What did I do, what did you do!  
  
Blink: Oh yeah that really looks convincing.  
  
Plink: Ahem, why am I wearing purple?  
  
Navi: Ok only one of you talk  
  
Silence  
  
Navi: Ok one of you be a spokesperson.  
  
*Links huddle*  
  
Links: me, no me no I'm the obvious choice, enough!  
  
*Break huddle*   
  
Link: We the links have decided that I shall speak on our behalf.  
  
Navi: Good, anyway what happened, does Zelda know about this?  
  
Link: Yes, she and Vaati are off getting married.  
  
Navi: WHAT! and you didn't try to stop them!  
  
Link: Well I was gonna, but then these guys showed up and and  
  
Navi: I will not except excuses, all of you are coming with me, and we are going to rescue Princess Zelda! Are we CLEAR!  
  
Links: Sir yes Sir!  
  
Navi: Let's move move move!  
  
So Navi, Link, Link, Link and uh Link walked outside and the ground and the rock closed up.  
  
Navi: If my calculations are correct, Vaati's fortress should be on Death Mountain somewhere.  
  
Link: Well that is great, but how are all 4 of us going to get to Death Mountain? Epona might be able to take 2, at best three, but no more.   
  
Navi: You really are an idiot aren't you. RLink will use the Bolero of Fire to get to Death Mountain, BLink will use the Minuet of Forest to go through the secret warps in the Lost Woods, and you two will ride on Epona.  
  
Links: That might work.  
  
Navi: Ok then let's go.  
  
--------------------------------------------  
  
So how bad is it? Any critic's would be good, just make it senseable. And keep in mind this is my first solo fic, so don't set the bar to high. Thanks!   
  
One more little note, I'm kinda not liking this much myself, but we will just go with it. 


	2. To The Mountain, very slowly

Chapter Two: To the Mountain, very slowly  
  
When we last left our Hero, that is to say Heros, and Navi too, they were about to go their seperate ways to reach Death Mountain. RedLink was using the Bolero express, BlueLink was using the Minuet subway, and Link and PurpleLink were riding double on Epona. Poor Epona, as if one fairy boy in tights wasn't enough. And I know what your thinking, what is Zelda doing all this while? Let's find out.  
  
Zelda: Let me go you creep.  
  
Vaati: Oh do you really mean it?  
  
Zelda: No I want to stay here forever, OF COURSE I MENT IT!  
  
Vaati: You say that now, but soon you will grow to love me.  
  
Zelda: In a pig's eye.  
  
Vaati: You want a pig's eye? Coming right up!  
  
Zelda: No you one eyed freak! RRRRRRRR Link you had better be trying to save me, or so help me I will * This portion of our story has been censored for younger readers* Oh yes I will!  
  
Vaati: You say something my precious?  
  
Zelda: No!{sweetly} You sniveling little *ahem* {under breath} Say now, he left his Storm Cell.  
  
Zelda looking this way and that, noticing no one around rushes for the "Storm Cell" (looks strangly like the wind waker, only with magical buttons.) picks it up and starts dialing.  
  
Other End: Hellooo?  
  
Zelda: Oh thank the goddesess you're there.  
  
OE: Who isa this?  
  
Zelda: It's me Zelda, don't you recognize me?!  
  
OE: Shoulda I?  
  
Zelda: Yes you should, my games sell just as many as yours do!  
  
OE: Oha higha Donkey Kong!  
  
Zelda:?! DK?????!!! You idiot, no one likes DK's newer games, it is me Zelda, you know the other popular Nintendo series.  
  
OE: Oha Samus you shoulda saida it was yous!  
  
Zelda: What is the matter with you you're thicker headed than Link!  
  
OE: Link! Oh hi Link, how is Zelda!?  
  
Zelda: *sighs* She is fine, but I need you to rescue her, she is being held by Vaati the Wind Mage *Thunder and Lightining* Why does that always happen?  
  
OE: Okey Dokey Linka, I'll get my brother and we be right on it! HOO HOO! *hangs up*  
  
Zelda: Not quite what I was hopeing for, but atleast he is coming, which is probably more than I can say for Link, I'll be he is sitting on his rear watching the sky right now!  
  
Ah but little did Zelda know that that was exactly what one of our Links was doing.  
  
PLink: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!  
  
Link: I told ya to hang on.  
  
Navi: Yes he did.  
  
Epona: Neigh.  
  
Plink: But why would Epona throw me off? She is my horse.  
  
Link: Actually she is my horse, that and you are wearing purple, and since I don't wear purple she doesn't recognize you.  
  
Navi: Thank you very much professer, now on to the facts, you slaped her rear twice, she doesn't like that.  
  
Epona: Neigh!  
  
Plink: What are you talking about? I, we, LINK! Always slaps her to make her go faster.  
  
Link: Ah yes but not twice, she is picky about those things.  
  
Navi: How would you like it?  
  
Epona: Neigh.  
  
Plink: Ok I get that, but that still wasn't right.  
  
Link: Whatever, anyway let's go, get back on.  
  
Navi: Yeah, maybe we should stop by Lon Lon ranch to get another horse.  
  
Epona: NEIGH! *starts nodding head*  
  
So as our terrific trio   
  
Epona: NEIGH!   
  
Excuse me, our quasy quartet headed towards Lon Lon Ranch to get another horse. Rlink was already inside the Death Mountain crater.  
  
Rlink: So, what now.  
  
Really Big Person In The Shadows: Link what are you doing here?  
  
Rlink: WAAAAA! *grabs chest* left arm, tingling  
  
Sissy Short Gaywad Wearing Green: Tingling! I knew it Mr. Fairy! I knew it!  
  
Rlink: NO! NO! That's not what I meant!  
  
RBPITS: Well it's to late, you already said it, now he will follow you where ever you go.  
  
SSGWG: Yes that is right Mr. Fairy!  
  
Rlink: Why me! WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
RBPITS: I don't know, but that's the way the rock cookie crumbles.  
  
SSGWG: MMMMMMMmmmmm, cookies, C is for cookie that's good enough for me!  
  
Rlink: Oh no you don't! *smacks SSGWG with his Four Sword*  
  
SSGWG: OWWWCH!  
  
RBPITS: Yes I agree with Rlink *clubs SSGWG with, um, a club*  
  
SSGWG: Why you all hurt Tingle?!  
  
Rlink&RBPITS: Because you are avaliable.  
  
Tingle: Oh, I knew I should have stuck with the Wind Waker job.  
  
RBPITS: Please, you a pest, you always bombed link.  
  
Tingle: It's not my fault your friend did it!  
  
Rlink: ANYWAY! We have a dungeon to find, a monster to destroy, and Tingle to beat up! We haven't time for dilly dally!  
  
RBPITS: Don't you want to know who I am though?  
  
Rlink: Fine who are you? *sighs*  
  
RBPITS: I am *steps out of shadows* Darunia! Beat you didn't see that coming!  
  
Rlink: Actually I could see you gut coming out of the shadows.  
  
Darunia: OOps.  
  
Tingle: Heheheh, Mr. Goron is out of shape.  
  
Rlink: Yeah you're telling me.  
  
Darunia: I am not! Round is a shape too ya know! I'm as fit as the next man!  
  
Rlink: But you aren't a man, you're a Goron.  
  
Darunia: Aw poooo.  
  
Tingle: Hahahah he said poo.  
  
Rlink and Darunia look at Tingle who is still laughing, at each other, back at Tingle, each other, then smack him in unison.  
  
Tingle: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.  
  
And so we leave our dynamic duo and,  
  
Tingle: AHem!  
  
Oh fine we leave our dynamic duo and the fruitcake, and head to the forest to find out what danger, and/or companions await our True Blue friend.  
  
Blink: Ah the forest, you know I think I lucked out on this one, don't get the heat of the volcano, don't get the bow legged affect from riding, it's the best, in fact I can't think of one reason why I shouldn't beat them all to the dungeon.   
  
Blink states confidently as he strides down the stairs from the warp pad and into the long uh hallway. But as he walks he notices a sound, that sounds familier, but he just can't quite place it until,  
  
Blink: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Unfortunatly Blink forgot all about our Moblin friends. Especially the one with the big club.  
  
Blink: Ah ha! I shall smite thee thou feind!  
  
Moblin: RArrrrrr *slams ground*  
  
Blink: You think that will stop me! HA!   
  
He shouts as he charges the hulking mass, avoiding every quaking blast with finesse, he gets up to the creatures feet and then with a mighty slash he cuts the shins of our ground pounding behemoth and then!  
  
Moblin: WAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, why did you do that to me? *cries uncontrolably*  
  
Blink: Uh?  
  
OtherMoblins: What did you do!  
  
Blink: Nothing, he just um, fell!  
  
Moblin: Nuh un he cut my shins, and all I wanted to do was sell him cookies.Wahhhhhhhhhhhhh  
  
OtherMoblinsLeader: Oh really, that so? Loui!   
  
The Moblin Who Is Loui: Yes boss?  
  
OML: Fix him. *snaps fingers*  
  
Loui cracks his knuckles and then proceeds to bash the stuffing out of Blink.  
  
30 Minutes later  
  
Blink: I'm sorry please stop!   
  
1 Hour later  
  
Blink: oooo look at the pretty stars.  
  
5 Hours later  
  
Blink: Ok I'll talk!  
  
OML: Loui! *snaps fingers*  
  
TMWIL: Yes boss.  
  
OML: So, did you attack this poor defenceless Moblin?  
  
Blink: DEFENSELESS?! He had a stinking club!  
  
Other Moblin Leader looks at the crying moblin, kicks his club away out of sight.  
  
OML: Did you attack the poor defenseless Moblin?  
  
Blink: *grinding teeth* Yes.  
  
OML: Why would you do that.  
  
Blink: Because.  
  
OML: Loui!  
  
Blink: No nO! I'll talk, I just wanted by, and I thought he was gonna kill me. So I cut him!  
  
OML: You know kid, we could use someone like you.  
  
Blink: Huh?  
  
OML: Yeah yeah, we run a secret organization, that some would call illeagl.  
  
Blink: Really?  
  
OML: Oh yeah, we call ourselves, the Mondo Moblin Mob.  
  
Blink: The Mondo Moblin Mob?  
  
MondoMoblinMob: That's right!  
  
OML: You see kid, I'm the MMM's leada, and we could use someone of your obvious talents.  
  
Blink: Ok, but uh I got this thing I gotta do, and so  
  
MMML: No problem kid, we'll help you, Boys! *snaps fingers*  
  
Four Huge muscle ripped Moblins come in carring varying weapons.  
  
FHMRM: Yes boss.  
  
MMML: You four boys and Loui go with this kid, you watch his back, make sure he comes back to us, capice? [A/N: However it is spelled?]  
  
FHMRM&Loui: Yes boss.  
  
Blink: Thanks uh boss.  
  
MMML: Call me papa.  
  
Blink: Um, ok papa, see ya later.  
  
Thus Blink, Loui and the Four Huge Muscle Ripped Moblins traveled on through to rest of the Lost Woods and eventually ended up at the LostWoods/GoronCity warp. And try to fit the Moblins through. Not an easy task to say the least.  
  
Will Malon give them another horse, will she question why there is another Link?   
  
Will Rink, Darunia and the queerbait ever find the dungeon?  
  
Will Blink, Loui and the Four Huge Muscle Ripped Moblins ever get throught that cramped tunnel!?   
  
Find out on the next chapter of The Four Swords, well sorta 


	3. Ya win some, Ya lose some

Chapter Three: Ya win some, Ya lose some  
  
When we last saw our Heros things were looking dire, it was heating up in the Death Mountain Crater, they were in a tight spot in the Lost Woods, and the horse broke down in Hyrule field, so things were not going over so well for the Links, however Zelda was having slightly better luck.  
  
Vaati: Here you are my queen, fresh pig eyes.  
  
Zelda: Ewww, I didn't ask for pig eyes.  
  
Vaati: You most certainly did you   
  
Zelda: SILENCE!  
  
Vaati: *whimpers*  
  
Zelda: Bring me, a latte!  
  
Vaati: Right away! *dashs out in search of a starbucks*  
  
Zelda: Hmm, I could get used to this. Oh look he left his Storm Cell again who to call, hmmm *dialing*  
  
Other End: Hello? Who is this? How did you get this number? Answer me!  
  
Zelda: Whoa whoa whoa girl, calm down, it's Zelda.  
  
Other End: Zelda? Oh right, how you doin girlfriend?  
  
Zelda: Not bad girl, just inprisoned by this windbag mage.  
  
Other End: Oh I know he didn't, where's that Hero of yours, whats his name, pink, jink, crossdresser?  
  
Zelda: Ahem, Link?  
  
OE: Oh yeah that's right, Link, where is he anyway?  
  
Zelda: Hopefully on his way to rescue me, but he is a little thickheaded, I'll bet he is just playing some game.  
  
OE: Yeah that's just like him, *loud blaring on other end* Whoa sorry girl, but I gotta go, Ridley is on my case again.  
  
Zelda: Ok later.  
  
While Zelda jokes, little does she know that one of our Links is indeed playing a game, albeit somewhat against his will.  
  
Tingle: I spy with my little eye something......  
  
RedLink&Darunia: red......   
  
Tingle: Hey how'd you know?  
  
RedLink: We are in a volcano, what else would there be in here!  
  
Darunia: Rocks?   
  
RedLink: You aren't helping.  
  
Tingle: Hey hey hey, I spy with my little eye something   
  
RedLink&Darunia: green, hehehe *smack*   
  
Tingle: Owww, why do you guys keep beating me?  
  
RedLink: Cause you are the smallest.  
  
Darunia: We need a work out?  
  
RedLinK: Speak for yourself there blubberboy.  
  
Darunia: We've been over this.  
  
Tingle: Ok Ok ok, I've got it this time, I spy with my little eye something  
  
RedLink&Darunia: WHY! *cry*  
  
As much fun as that looks, let's depart and head for the Lost Woods, where BlueLink is having problems of a different kind.  
  
Bluelink: On 3! 1, 2, 3 PUSH!  
  
Bluelink and the Four Huge Muscle Ripped Moblins pushed with all their might, trying to squeeze Loui through the small warp tunnel.  
  
Loui: There is something hairy moving around in here..........AH! Spider! Spider! Get me out! Ah haha get me out!  
  
Bluelink: NO! You are going through, I don't care whats in there. Now PUSH!  
  
Small Child: Whatcha doin?  
  
BlueLink&FHMRM: AHHHHHH!   
  
Bluelink: Left arm, Tingling [wait a minute, we've used that joke] chest clenching, what do you want?  
  
Small Child: I just wanted to know what you're doing.  
  
BlueLink: Nothing that concerns you, just go away.  
  
Small Child: That's not very nice Link.  
  
Bluelink: What how do you know my name?  
  
SC: Duh silly, I'm your best friend!   
  
She steps out from the shadows to reveal herself to be, Saria!  
  
Bluelink: Saria, why are you here?  
  
Saria: Well it is my forest.  
  
Bluelink: No it isn't, it's the Kokiri's forest.  
  
Saria: Yeah, but I'm the Forest Sage, therefore it's my forest.  
  
Bluelink: Yeah whatever, anyway we've got work to do, so stand aside.  
  
Saria: Work? You are leaving the forest. Can I come too?!  
  
Bluelink: No, we have important business to do.  
  
Saria: Well I'm important, I can help.  
  
FHMRM: *grumbling*   
  
Loui: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!   
  
Bluelink: What is it Loui! Speak to me!  
  
Loui: It's a goron, he is trying to put a bomb on me!  
  
Bluelink: WHAT! Hey you in there stop, we need him to go your way, not this way!  
  
Goron: Nope nope nope, gotta push him back, we don't want him.  
  
Bluelink: Come on bud, we need him to go your way, the fate of Princess Zelda, Hyrule, and the known universe depends on it!  
  
Goron: Really?  
  
Saria: Really?  
  
Loui: Really?  
  
FHMRM: grumble something that sounds alot like "Really?"  
  
Bluelink: Um, yes really.  
  
All: Wow.   
  
Goron: Ok, I'll let him through, *whistles* boys we need some grease in here, on the double.  
  
Saria: So if it is so important can I come?  
  
Bluelink: No you can, now that's not right, stop it, NO is NO is NO!  
  
Saria who is giving them the sad puppy dog look, with the tearing eyes and the curling whimpering lip, starts begging.  
  
Saria: Pweease, pweeeeeeaseee!  
  
Bluelink: No, must resist, will not give in!  
  
Saria: Please, I promise not to get in the way!  
  
FHMRM: *shifting uncomfortably* Ok.  
  
Bluelink: WHAT!  
  
Saria: YAY! THank you(etc.) I promise you won't regret it!  
  
Bluelink: To late.  
  
Loui: Could we maybe hurry up and get me out of here.  
  
Bluelink: I tell ya what Loui, me and Saria will take the long way, get on the other side and pull.  
  
Loui: NO don't leave me here!  
  
Saria: Don't worry! These guys will stay with you.  
  
FHMRM: *shaking head no*   
  
Saria: OKey Dokey!  
  
BlueLink: See ya later Lou.  
  
Thus Saria and BlueLink heading to the Zora's Domain warp to take a short cut, Loui remained in the tunnel, and the Four Huge Muscle Ripped Moblins all went to Kokiri Village to hang out, leaving Loui all alone with a pyrotechnic goron. Our sence changes to Hyrule field, to find out how fairs our Link duo at Lon Lon Ranch. As link and company sneaks along a wall   
  
Link: Du du du du dun dun dun dun du du du du du du du dun doo de do doo de do doo de do  
  
Navi: Will you shutup already!  
  
Purplelink: Yeah what's up with huming your own theme song?  
  
Epona: Neigh.  
  
Link: Ah come on guys, I'm trying to be suspenseful here.  
  
Navi: Mission Impossible isn't suspenseful, it's repetative, and annoying.  
  
Purplelink: Yeah, couldnt' you come up with something original?  
  
Epo ah forget it, you know whats on her mind anyway.  
  
Link: Well I don't see you coming up with anything.  
  
Navi: Maybe because we don't want a theme song?  
  
Purplelink: Maybe because we just want a horse so that we can rescue Zelda?  
  
Link: Killjoy.  
  
Navi: Just go.  
  
As our group makes their way inside Lon Lon Ranch, Purplelink decides to simply just take a horse without asking Malon, not the best idea but   
  
Link: Are you crazy?  
  
Navi: First him and now you? Why do you hate me so goddesess?  
  
Purplelink: Nah, trust me Malon won't mind, we can just take the horse and not have to bother Malon.  
  
Link: I don't think this is a good idea.  
  
Navi: Neither do I, but just to prove him wrong, I'll let him.  
  
Purplelink: Thankyou, now we just slip in here unnoticed and then saddle a horse and get out of here, it'll go off like clockwork.  
  
Link: Whatever.  
  
Navi: Hmmm.  
  
As Navi looks up she notices that Malon's bedroom light is on, so she decides to go inform her that one of her horses are being stolen, you can imagine the outcome.  
  
Malon: WHAT! Link is trying to steal another one of my horses! Oh that does it!  
  
Quite so, in a fuming rage Malon storms downstairs and outside to the stable grabbing a pitchfork on the way, I wonder what she is going to do with that?  
  
Malon: Engarde!  
  
Link: Huh?   
  
Purplelink: What?  
  
As the links turn around dumbfounded, not a hard task, Malon quickly attacks the purple clad one, unfortunatly for him, this time it was personal.  
  
Purplelink: *high pitched girly voice* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Link: Oooo, that's harsh.  
  
Malon: Wha? There are two of you? Oh well! *SMACK*  
  
Link: *same* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Navi: Oooo hehehehehehehe, that has to hurt. Sorry guys, but I couldn't help myself.  
  
Purplelink: *crying* Why did you do that, are you insane?  
  
Link: Why why why!  
  
Malon: Navi why are there two of them?  
  
Navi: *laughing maniacly like the great faires do* Suffer! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Purplelink: What did I ever do to you Navi?  
  
Link: Yeah I treated you like family, and this is how you repay me??  
  
Malon: Um, why are there two of you?  
  
Navi: HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
  
Epona:(might as well) Neigh.  
  
Purplelink(stuggling to get up): Ok I think I can explain.  
  
Link(who has passed out from the pain):......................................  
  
Navi: Ok that was fun, so um Malon, can we borrow a horse?  
  
Malon: Sure, why didn't you just ask?  
  
Purplelink: Ah why didn't I think of that.   
  
Malon: Take that one *points to a decrepid old donkey*  
  
Purplelink: Oh how big of you.  
  
Malon: Only the best.  
  
Link: Wha what did I miss?  
  
So after a quite painful meeting Link, Purplelink, Navi, Epona and Malon are all together now, plus the donkey that is about to die at any moment.   
  
What will befall our Heros next?   
  
Will Tingle ever get tired of that annoying game?  
  
Will Loui ever get out of that warp tunnel?  
  
Will Link and Purplelink ever be able to have kids?!   
  
Will that old donkey ever make it out of the stable, to say nothing about Kakariko and even Death Mountain? Probably not.  
  
Find out next time on Legend of Zelda: Four Swords, well sorta. 


	4. KakarikoVillage DeathMountainCrater Zo...

Chapter Four: KakarikoVillage + DeathMountainCrater + Zora'sDomain = Pain and Suffering  
  
Grim, that is the only way to describe the situation of Link&company(x4). No more need be said, so we will ju......(fog horn)..oh very funny.  
  
Our fair Hero's are exiting the Lost Woods/Zora's Domain warp tunnel when things get fishy!  
  
Bluelink: Now we have to be careful Saria, dangerous creatures lurk about, waiting to pounce on us at every moment, just waiting to   
  
Biped Fish: HI LINKY!  
  
Bluelink: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Run Saria! Don't turn back whatever you do just run for your life!   
  
Saria: It's just Ruto link.  
  
Bluelink: Just Ruto? Oh good I thought something horrible was going to happen!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Ruto: Oh linky you are so cute when your angry.  
  
Bluelink: Ok 2 things, 1 never call me "linky" again and 2 never call me cute.  
  
Saria: Actually you are kinda cute when you get angry, your face get's all red and you stomp about.   
  
Bluelink: Saria you aren't helping.   
  
Ruto: What is she doing here linky? Is she trying to steal you away from me?  
  
Bluelink: How many times have we been over this, Saria is just my friend, and you are just chum.  
  
Saria: Just a friend?  
  
Ruto: Chum?  
  
Bluelink: Yes chum, you feed it to bigger fish, carnivorous fish!  
  
Ruto: Oh linky your so funny, there are no bigger carnivorous fish around here.  
  
Bluelink: *under his breath* yeah but there is in Termina.  
  
Ruto: What?  
  
Saria: What?  
  
Bluelink: *straighting up* I said yeah but there isn't a terminal. *thinking to self* oh yeah, smooth.  
  
Ruto&Saria: What?   
  
Saria: I think all the humidity is getting to your head Link, lets get you out of here.  
  
Ruto: Oh no you don't, *grabing one of Links arms and pulling* it's all that fairy dust and wood sprites that he hangs around with you!  
  
Saria: *grabing his other arm and pulling* Maybe it's just the stench of fish guts coming from your putrid mouth!  
  
Ruto: Maybe it's just the childish tantrums you throw when you don't get your way!  
  
Bluelink: Um, can we settle this without involving me?  
  
Ruto&Saria: SHUTUP!  
  
Saria: You say I'm childish but look at you, miss scaley slavedriver!  
  
Ruto: You hush your mouth you greenhaired forest freak!  
  
Saria: Fishface!  
  
Ruto: Treehugger!  
  
Saria: *GASPS* YOUR DAD IS FAT!  
  
Ruto: *GASPS* WELL YOU DON'T HAVE AND DAD!  
  
Saria: *GASPS* wELL ATLEAST MY FATHER FIGURE IS HAS MORE WISDOM THAN FAT!  
  
Ruto: WHY YOU LITTLE!  
  
Saria: BRING IT ON!  
  
Ruto and Saria immeditaly get into a fight, Ruto rips Saria's hair out, she in turn bites off fins and scales, it's not a pretty sight, but Link does seem to be enjoying himself.  
  
Bluelink: You get her Saria, show her whose boss!  
  
Ruto: Stay outta this linky!  
  
Bluelink: I thought we talked about this whole linky thing.  
  
Ruto tries to push Saria off the ledge and down into the water below but Saria falls on her back putting her feet into Ruto's midsection and pushing her over herself over the ledge and into the water below.  
  
Bluelink: Oh please oh please oh please!  
  
Saria: HA! Take that sister!  
  
Ruto magically appears behind them and then kicks Saria off the ledge.  
  
Bluelink: Hey! How did you do that, you are supposed to be dead. THERE ARE ROCKS DOWN THERE!  
  
Ruto: Oh linky you don't get it do you, I'm a sage, sages can't die, no matter what you do to us we never die.  
  
Bluelink: Oh really?! *Draws sword and hacks Ruto's head clean off*  
  
Ruto's head magically appears back on her neck with no wounds of any kind.  
  
Ruto: Linky there was no reason for that senseless act of violence.  
  
Saria: NO BUT THERE IS FOR THIS ONE! HIYA!   
  
Saria who is now weilding Links Megaton Hammer(which is about twice her size atleast) smashes Ruto's legs, breaking them of course, she then proceeds with an upper cut which sends Ruto down into what should be her watery grave.  
  
Saria: HA! Eat that fishgirl.  
  
Bluelink: Oh thankyou thankyou thankyou! *falls down bowing to Saria kissing her boots, giving them quite the shine* *sparkle*  
  
Ruto: Not so fast!   
  
Ruto is now weilding the most dangerous weapon of all, nothing not even Ganondorf can withstand it's mighty power! It is!,,,,, The Zora King being held up by some unknown magical force, it would have to be some force though.  
  
ZoraKing: How did I get here? I've never seen this place!  
  
Ruto: That's because it would take 50 million years for you to get to the door daddy, and even then you would never fit. Bow before the sheer and awsome power that I have!  
  
Saria: NEVER!  
  
Bluelink: Um Saria you might want to reconsider. *link points above her head, she looks up to see the ZoraKing above her*  
  
Saria: Yikes! Oh Ruto, I'm sorry, a thousand apologies *does a very quick curtsy(however it is spelled) and then drops and bows over and over so fast that she is almost doing pushups*  
  
Ruto: And you linky?   
  
Bluelink: Huh? Oh right me, um lookout behind you Ruto!  
  
Ruto looks behind her then turns back   
  
Ruto: Linky there is nothing *GASPS*!  
  
She turns around to see Bluelink and carring a still bowing Saria and running for his life(quite so) for the Hyrule Field exit.   
  
Ruto: GET BACK HERE! *magically throws the King at them*   
  
Bluelink: AH! *leaps forward narrowly missing a certain and squishy death*  
  
Ruto: RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrr RETURN! *throws her hand back and the King starts flying in that direction* No wait NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *splat, squish, and anything else icky sounding* Eh my head it hurts.  
  
ZoraKing: Hmm that's funny, I don't seem to remember moving that fast ever in my life! *shifts around* what could that peculiar feeling be.  
  
Ruto: *muffeled* It's just me father, your sitting on me.  
  
ZoraKing: Oh dear, my beloved Ruto, traped under my colosal persona! Hey while you are down there, could you scratch my lower back, it has been bugging me for ages.  
  
Ruto: *crying* why me.   
  
Let us quickly flee from that disturbing scene, I just know that is going to give me nightmares, anyway Bluelink and still bowing Saria head out across Hyrule field to reach Kakariko Village, however another of our Links, make that two, are already heading to Kakariko Village, with some difficulty however.  
  
Purplelink: (who is riding the old donkey) Why do I always get the shaft?  
  
Link: Because I'm the goodlooking one!  
  
Purplelink: But we are exactly identical!  
  
Link: Oh, then it's because I'm the smart one!  
  
Purplelink: Again we are the same person.  
  
Link: Oh, then it's because I'm the original one!  
  
Purplelink: Now you are starting to make sense.  
  
Navi: Will you two be quiet! I can't take it anymore one stupid thing after another is there no sane person out there!  
  
Malon: Ahem, I'm here Navi.  
  
Navi: Oh yeah.  
  
Epona: Neigh.  
  
OldDicrepidDonkey: (um,) donkey sounds.   
  
Link: So, um what do we do now?  
  
Purplelink: How about we go to the castle and see Zelda!  
  
Link: Yeah that's a great idea!  
  
Navi: Except for the fact that Zelda is at Vaati's Palace!  
  
Link&Purplelink: Oh yeah.  
  
Malon: I don't see how you put up with it Navi.  
  
Navi: Special fairy patience.  
  
Epona: Neigh.  
  
ODD: Donkey sounds.  
  
Link: So I suppose we should try to rescue her huh?  
  
Navi: That's what we have been doing!  
  
Link: Oh very well then.  
  
Purplelink: Right so on to Kakariko!  
  
Link: On to Kakariko!  
  
Navi: Eh if ya can't beat em, On to Kakariko!  
  
Malon: Join em, On to Kakariko!  
  
They continued on until they reached the steps leading up to the Village.  
  
Link: DISMOUNT!  
  
Purplelink&Malon&Navi: HUH?   
  
Link: Oh forget it just follow me.  
  
He then proceeds to get off of Epona, leaving Malon still seated on her.  
  
Malon: Ermmm Ahem!   
  
Link: Oh right.  
  
As he walks over Malon begins falling gracefully towards his arms, but he just grabs his bow and walks away.  
  
*Thump*  
  
Malon: LINK!  
  
Link: Huh?  
  
Navi: Oh yeah smoothe link, let the lady fall flat on her face.  
  
Purplelink: Link you are such a clutz hahahahahaha ooooffffffff. *falls off of Donkey*  
  
ODD: Donkey sounds.  
  
Epona: Neigh.  
  
Link: Oh sorry Malon *picks her up and stands her up* There ya go.  
  
Purplelink: Come on we gotta get going. *starts heading up the stairs*  
  
Navi: Yeah let's go. *follows him*  
  
Link: Ok come on Malon, quit lagging behind.  
  
Malon: I hate him.  
  
All the band aside from Epona and ODD went up to Kakariko, and once they were out of ear shot, Epona looked this way and that, then stood up on her hind legs leaned back against wall and digged in her saddlebags pulling out a pipe and bubbles?  
  
Epona: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that feels so good.  
  
ODD: You said it youngin. *blows bubbles*  
  
Epona: I don't know why I let them ride me, I mean Link with all his junk has got to weigh atleast 250 lbs. and Malon could stand to lose a few pounds too!  
  
ODD: Hey well I had that same 250 on me ya know, and I'm about dead!  
  
Epona: True gramps, but Malon is just trying to get rid of you anyway. It's genocide I tell ya!  
  
ODD: She is? I knew it, she always did give me that look, you know the one!  
  
Epona: You mean the I'm going to kill you look?  
  
ODD: Yeah! that's it!  
  
Epona: *sighs* Maybe she should kill you.  
  
ODD: Eh? What's that! Speak up missy.  
  
Epona looks around, then clonks him on the head killing him.  
  
Epona: Was bound to happen sooner or later.  
  
Someone walking out of Kakariko rounds the corner and hears Epona say what she just said.  
  
Kakarian: Um, uh.  
  
Epona get back down on all 4s: Neigh.  
  
Kakarian: Ok, you did not just see a horse talking, you don't need anymore therapy, you are perfectly normal, you eh are hehe per hehehe fect heheheheeeheheheheh norm muHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *Runs off screaming*  
  
Epona: And they say horses have problems, Neigh.  
  
The secret life of horses, who knew?! Anyway we better check up on our gang in the DeathMountainCrater.  
  
Tingle: I spy with my little eye something   
  
Redlink whispering to Darunida: You whack him with the rock, then I'll block him into the lava, hut one hut two break!  
  
Darunia then runs over and boots Tingle over towards Redlink, who then leaping hicks Tingle(who is curled up into a ball now) right inbetween the two rocks in the crater.  
  
Redlink: It's up its up...........  
  
Darunia: And it's good!   
  
*Crowds cheering*  
  
Magical lights flash and and smoke comes up from the lava, and all of the sudden poof!  
  
Tingle: Ahhhhhh, hey I'm not burning.  
  
Redlink: Why is he still here?  
  
Darunia: I'm not sure, I mean the only people who could survive that would be a sage or a fairy.  
  
Tingle: YES! Really! Then at last Tingle has proof that he is a fairy!  
  
Redlink: No you aren't.  
  
Darunia: I fear that we must admit he is a sage, of um, something.  
  
Tingle: No my silly rock eating friend, Tingle is a fairy, you said so yourself.  
  
Darunia: Not exactly, you are choosing my words for your own personal gain.  
  
Redlink: But he can't be a sage, what would he be the sage of?  
  
Just then a big man in a robe appeared.  
  
BMIR: Indeed he is a sage!  
  
Redlink: You are kidding right?  
  
Darunia: It would seem not.  
  
BMIR: No he is a sage.  
  
Redlink: And how would you know?  
  
BMIR: Because stupid I am a sage.  
  
Darunia: Then why haven't I seen you?  
  
Redlink: Let's see what other big fat guys do I know, lets see there is Darunia  
  
Darunia: Hey!  
  
Redlink: KingZora  
  
Tingle: And........  
  
Redlink: Um, that does it.  
  
BMIR: You are pretty thick aren't you?  
  
Darunia: You have no idea.  
  
BMIR: I guess I'll have to just tell you. It is I RAURU!  
  
Redlink&Darunia&Tingle: Oh. So?  
  
Rauru: I am the sage of light, therefore I know who is and isn't a sage.  
  
Redlink: Really? Am I a sage?  
  
Rauru: No.  
  
Redlink: Awwww, I want a second opinion.  
  
Rauru: Well you can't have one. Yes Tingle is a sage, so get used to it.  
  
Redlink: Oh yeah, then what is he the sage of?  
  
Tingle: Of fairies!  
  
Darunia: Of short 35yearoldmen wearing tights?  
  
Rauru: Nope, of Maps!  
  
Redlink&Darunia: Maps? A sage of Maps?   
  
Redlink: Do we really need a sage of maps?  
  
Rauru: Yes, because you are an idiot.  
  
Darunia: Yes you are.  
  
Tingle: Don't worry MR. Fairy, Tingle thinks you are brave and strong, but also stupid.  
  
Redlink: You are so comforting.  
  
Rauru: Anyway you need him to get into the dungeons.   
  
Redlink: You really hate me don't you.  
  
Rauru: Yes actually, it's on my card. *shows him business card* see it says right there "I hate Link."  
  
Redlink: This is cruel and unusal and you know it.  
  
Rauru: Yep, have fun. *disappears*  
  
Tingle: Don't you worry Mr. Fairy, Tingle knows what will cheer you up! I know a song that gets on everybodies nerves!   
  
Redlink: WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Hmm that is most unfortunate for Redlink, but fortunate for Tingle, I suppose that is a good thing, but probably not.   
  
Will Bluelink ever get to Kakariko Village alive?  
  
Will Saria ever stop bowing?  
  
Will Ruto ever make it out from under the biggest Zora in all of Hyrule?  
  
Will Epona ever break her bubble addiction? Will she reveal to Link that she can talk?  
  
Will that Random Kakarian ever be normal! Again probably not.  
  
Will(that's alot of wills) Loui and the Moblins who were absent from this chapter make it into the next chapter?  
  
Will Redlink,Darunia and the new sage Tingle ever find the Dungeon?  
  
Will Tingle ever tire of annoying us all? I think you know the answer to that.  
  
For these and other exciting questions tune in next time for   
  
THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: FOUR SWORDS, well sorta.  
  
You thought I forgot about Zelda didn't you? Hahahaha, well actually I did until just now, here is what is going on in her neck of the woods.  
  
Vaati: Here is your double deluxe latte!  
  
Zelda: *sips it* This latte is COLD! Get me another *throws it at him*  
  
Vaati: Yes my, hey wait a minute, why am I doing all this for you, you are my prisoner!  
  
Zelda: Ah yes but if you want me to be your queen you will have to try harder than this.  
  
Vaati: *thinks it over* Um ok, one more latte coming up. *dashs out in the usual fashion*  
  
Zelda: Hmm, what could be taking them so long, I better call them just to make sure they are on their way.  
  
*Dials*  
  
OE: Helloooa?  
  
Zelda: Where are you you poor excuse for a rescue?  
  
OE: I'ma busy, peachs voicea just gota stolen, I'll haveta do thisa first.  
  
Zelda: Oh alright fine perhaps I can find someone else to help thanks anyway Mario.  
  
Mario: I'lla be there as soon as I cana.   
  
Zelda: Hmmm, who else could I call?  
  
Just then one of the huge windows in the place breaks open and a small space ship is outside hovering, a hatch opens and a powerful looking suit jumps out and lands on the ground looks around then runs up to Zelda.  
  
PLS: I've come to rescue you Zelda! I heard you were in distress, and I'm here to save you!  
  
Zelda: And you would be?  
  
PLS: Don't you recognize me?  
  
Zelda: Not particularly, what game are you from?  
  
PLS: That's easy I'm from the Metroid series, I'm Houston!  
  
Zelda: Hmmm Houston houston, nope not coming up with it.  
  
Houston: What do you mean, I've fought along side Samus Aran!  
  
Zelda: No you didn't.  
  
Houston: Yes yes I did, it was in Super Metroid.  
  
Zelda: No you, oh wait I remember.  
  
Houston: Yes see I told you.  
  
Zelda: No you weren't in the game, you were just in Nintendo Power's comic strip about Super Metroid, you aren't real.  
  
Houston: I'm standing here aren't I, I'm talking to you aren't I? That makes me real!  
  
Zelda: Yes phyically speaking, but you haven't been immortalized in a game, therefore you could die at any moment and not come back to life later.  
  
Houston: I can?! *gasp* Then I've gotta get out of here! What if that big mean mage comes back, he could give me a fate worse than death!  
  
Zelda: What's worse than death?  
  
Houston: Being forgotten!  
  
Zelda: Right anyway, I hate to break it to ya, but you already are forgotten.   
  
Discouraged Houston walks away and gets back in his ship and leaves.  
  
Zelda: Poor guy, wait and minute what am I doing? I COULD HAVE BEEN RESCUED! Wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Ok I'm really done this time, tune in next time for   
  
Legend of Zelda: Four Swords, well sorta 


	5. Together Again, mostly

Chapter Five: Together Again, mostly  
  
Somewhere, in a dark and cold tunnel lay a lonely beast. His name, Loui. His mission, to protect BlueLink, who is off doing who knows what. His comrades, abandoned him. His only company, a Goron named Jim. SO! Without further ado,   
  
Loui: Have ya got any ones?  
  
Jim: Go fish.  
  
Loui: Arrrrr.  
  
Jim: Have you got any fives?  
  
Loui: Ah, yes. *hands him two fives*   
  
Jim: Oh thank you. Have you got any tens?  
  
Loui: RRRRRRRRRrr Yes. *hands him a ten*  
  
Jim: Have you got any twenties?  
  
Loui: AH! I'm out *hands him three twenties*  
  
Jim: I'm rich!  
  
Loui: Those were my last rupees!  
  
Jim: Mine now, thanks!  
  
Loui: I hope Link hurries.  
  
My my my, whenever you gamble, eventually you lose. Let us now check in on our Muscle ripped fellows.   
  
Link: You mean me! *flexs*   
  
No, I mean the Four Huge Muscle Ripped Moblins.  
  
Link: Oh. *walks away crying*  
  
Anyway, there is no telling what kind of devastation those four are causing in Kokiri Village, we better go and find out.  
  
Mido's House is a now, the four's house.   
  
#1: Rrr, this place good.   
  
He is sitting on the podieum where Mido usually stands at the back of his house.  
  
#2: Ya, put feet up.  
  
He is proping his feet on a few chests.  
  
#3: Plenty exercise!   
  
He is punching Mido, who is suspended from the ceiling like a punching bag.   
  
Mido: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.  
  
#4: We shouldn't be doing this, this is wrong.  
  
#1,2 and 3: Shut up piggy.  
  
Piggy: But guys.  
  
As they talked a little blond Kokiri walked in.  
  
Blond Kokiri: Whatcha doin?  
  
#3: Punching! *jabs mido a few times*   
  
Mido: AHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
BK: Oh, that's nice. *smiling*  
  
Mido: Helpppp meeee.  
  
#3: Bag no talk! *punches him, knocking him out*  
  
#1: What you want?  
  
BK: Just to talk.  
  
Piggy: You don't want to talk with them, they are bullies.  
  
#123: Shut up piggy.  
  
We can see that is going nowhere, so on to Kakariko Village.  
  
Link: Wow, look at it all.  
  
They are standing at the entrance watching the hussle and bussle of Kakariko, shops here, shops there, buying and selling everywhere.   
  
PurpleLink: Check it out!   
  
Malon: No, wait, come back here!  
  
PurpleLink is running over to a smoothie ship(who knew Hyrule had those)   
  
Link: Oooo look at that!  
  
Navi: No not you too! RRRRRRRRRRRRR!   
  
Link is running sushi bar(again, who knew)  
  
PurpleLink: Bartender get me a tall one!  
  
The Bartender slides a tall glass of purrayed(Not how it is spelled) apple and orange mixed with a little ice.  
  
PurpleLink: *slurps* Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.  
  
Malon: LINK!  
  
Malon,who is standing back at the door, has a nasty look in her eyes, and tapping foot.  
  
PurpleLink: Hmmmm? *has smoothie all over his lips*  
  
Malon: Get back out here. NOW!  
  
PurpleLink: Ok. *takes smoothie with him*  
  
Across the plaza(imagine that there are more buildings and stuff) Link is ordering Sushi.  
  
Link: Give me a roll!  
  
Sushi Bartender: How long?  
  
Link: How long is there?  
  
SB: Oh, about 20 feet.  
  
Link*Wide eyes*: HIT ME!  
  
Navi: Link! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Link: Huh? Why not?  
  
Navi: Because *whispers something to him*   
  
Link: *GASP* You fiend! *runs away with sushi roll*  
  
SB: Hey you didn't, ah well.  
  
Back at the middle of the town square Malon has dragged PurpleLink to the fountain(just bear with me) and Link and Navi come over.  
  
Malon: Where did you get that?  
  
Link: Um, nowhere. *munches*  
  
PurpleLink: Ooo that looks good.  
  
Link: It is, want a bite?  
  
PurpleLink: Sure, and you can wash it down with this. *hands him the smoothie*  
  
Navi: Idiots.  
  
Malon: You're tellin me.  
  
While they stand there doing nothing, BlueLink and Saria come up the stairs and see them.  
  
BlueLink: LINK!  
  
Link: LINK!  
  
PurpleLink: LINK!  
  
All three run to each other and embrace in a group hug.  
  
Saria: And they call me a hugger of dense objects.  
  
Navi: Hey Saria! When did you join our little trek?  
  
Malon: Have you kept Link out of trouble?  
  
Saria: Tried to.  
  
Navi: Well it ain't, ah not again.  
  
All three Links are running off in different directions towards various shops.  
  
Malon: Here we go again.  
  
Navi: Yep.  
  
Saria: *sigh*  
  
Whilest they hunt down their respective Links, the scene at Vaati's Palace begs inquisition.  
  
Zelda: I'm an idiot, I could have been rescued, mind you he wasn't quite the Knight in shining armor, but atleast he had armor!  
  
Vaati: Ok, now I know this one is hot!  
  
Zelda: Hmmm? Oh yes that, well give it to me *takes it and sips* This is better, but I have another errand for you, go get my drycleaning, and make sure they ironed my dresses, and don't forget to pick up groceries, you are low on milk and eggs.  
  
Vaati: *crys* ok. *flies out*   
  
Zelda: Man he is almost as dumb as Link. Almost.  
  
All of the sudden the Storm Cell rings.  
  
*ringing*   
  
Zelda: Wha? Hmm. *picks it up* Hello?  
  
Other End: Helloa! Link?  
  
Zelda: No Link isn't, this is Link.  
  
OE: Oh gooda, It'sa me, Mario, I've called to tell you that we will be able to rescue Zelda after alls.  
  
Zelda: Really! Good, Could you hurry?!  
  
Mario: You betta.  
  
Zelda: Good, I'll, I mean she'll be waiting.  
  
Mario: Okey dokey! Whoo! Hoo! Yippie!   
  
*hangs up*  
  
Zelda: Well looks like I'll get out of here after all.  
  
Things are looking up for Zelda, she may not need Link's help after all. Now we proceed to the firey mount that is Death, well the crater anyway.  
  
RedLink: Ok Mr. Map sage, where is this dungeon?  
  
Tingle: I'm thinking, I think it's over there.  
  
Darunia: I think it's over there *points in opposite direction*  
  
Redlink: You sure?  
  
Tingle: Mostly sure, don't worry though, Tingle use his magic words to help!  
  
Redlink: No, not the magic words again!  
  
Darunia: What's the magic words?  
  
Tingle: Tingle! Tingle! Kooloo-Limpah! Become accessable! *The usual did something good Zelda jingle plays* These are magic words Tingle created himself, don't steal them.  
  
A great rumbling is heard, and on one of the two spires(on the sides of the warp pad) the rock cracks and reveals a hole going straight down.   
  
Redlink: Tingle Tingle Kooloo Limpah!  
  
Tingle: NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *falls over into the hole, unconscious*  
  
Darunia: WOW!  
  
Redlink: I've discovered how to get rid of him, for awhile anyway, YAHOO!!!!!  
  
Darunia: Do you suppose that's the dungeon?  
  
Redlink: I hope not.  
  
Darunia: Well shouldn't we check it out?  
  
Redlink: Nah, we can wait for the others to get here.  
  
Darunia: Others?  
  
Redlink: Yeah, there are 4 Links now, didn't I tell you that?  
  
Darunia: You forgot to mention it.  
  
Redlink: Well anyway, there are.  
  
Darunia: That's great, well we can kick it at my place till they get here.  
  
RedLink: Ok.  
  
With that Redlink and Darunia head off to his room, to "kick it" whatever that may entail.  
  
It's time for our Will segment, but no testaments.  
  
Will Loui ever get his money back? Will he ever lose his gambling habits?  
  
Will Mido survive his house guests? Will Piggy ever shut up?  
  
Will Ruto ever get out from under her father?  
  
Will Malon, Navi, and Saria ever be able to round up the Links?  
  
Will Zelda be able to wait till Mario comes to her aid? Will Link beat him there? Probably not.  
  
Will Tingle ever recover from his words being stolen? Will he recover from his fall? We can hope not.  
  
Will the Links ever be reunited at Daruina's place and head out from there? Or will they just "kick it"?  
  
Find out next time on, ah you know.  
  
----------------------------------------------  
  
Hey, you punks out there who may or may not be reading this, better give me some reviews, otherwise I'm not posting any more chapters! Thankyou. 


	6. Reunion, of the non highschool varity

Chapter Six: Reunion, of the nonhighschool varity.  
  
At long last, all four Link's shall be reunited, ah, but I am getting ahead of myself. Our attention must first turn to Zelda, as her situation, takes a turn for the worse.  
  
Vaati: I'm back. *glaring with his one huge eye*  
  
Zelda: Where is my drycleaning? *tapping her foot*  
  
Vaati: I put it where it will be quite dry.   
  
*scene of dresses blowing around in the desert*  
  
Zelda: Oh did you? What makes you think that you had the right to do that?  
  
Vaati: BECAUSE! I am the Wind Mage here, I'm the master of this palace, and I! Yes I! captured you to be my bride, but now that I see how much a hassle you are, I don't think I want you anymore!!!!  
  
Zelda: Well, then I guess I'll just leave.  
  
Vaati: Oh now you don't, you are staying put till Link get's here,   
  
Zelda: BUT! That could take years!  
  
Vaati: Then you shall have to learn to be patient!  
  
Zelda: That could take years!  
  
Vaati: TO BAD! *throws her in a cold dark dungeon*  
  
Zelda: Hmm, this feels familier. Oh I know, duh my third game. Ah, seems like only yesterday I was locked up in a 32 bit Hyrule castle.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ [A/N: That signifies a flashback]  
  
Zelda: It's cold in here, Agahnim!  
  
Agahnim: Yes, what is it you brat.  
  
Zelda: Who do you think you are throwing me down here? How do you expect me to get a manicure in this awful place, and just think of what it's going to do to my hair!  
  
Agahnim: AHHHHH! You never stop! I told you, leave me alone! *leaves*  
  
Zelda: Well he was a lotta help.  
  
Link: Princess Zelda? I got your message, I'm Link! I'm here to rescue y Arrrgghhh! *his face is met by a spiked ball*  
  
Ball&ChainGuard: Who are you? Who told you, you could come down here?  
  
Link: Uhhhh, oh I'm Link! I was sent here by my uncle to rescue her!  
  
B&CG: Oh, well in that case *falls on knees* PLEASE TAKE HER! I can't stand it anymore, all the errands, all the requests, all the lattes! Take her, and if I were you, I'd dump her off into Lake Hylia, first chance I get! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *runs off screaming, while leaving a key*  
  
Link: Hmm, that was easier than I thought it would be.  
  
Zelda: Don't just stand there, open the door!  
  
Link: Oh right, *unlocks door* so, what now?  
  
Zelda: Well since that worthless brute Agahnim wouldn't fulfil his duties, you get to.  
  
Link: Really? Thanks! [Obviously doesn't realize what he is getting into]  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Zelda: Ahhh, those were the days, but I digress, Link isn't going to be here anytime soon, so, a girl's gotta do, what a girl's gotta do.   
  
*Bright light flashes around her*   
  
Zelda: Come on come on, I don't have all day.  
  
*Fades to reveal Sheik, her alter ego, and split personality ;)*  
  
Shiek: Ah, feels good to be in charge again, let's get out of here. *throws a deku nut on ground, and disappears*  
  
A most curious turn of events, no matter. Come the busy market of Kakariko becons!  
  
Malon: LINK!   
  
Saria: LINK!  
  
Navi: LINK!!  
  
Unbeknownst to those three, but knownst to the three they seek, they are hiding in the House of Skulltula.  
  
BlueLink: Maybe they will just go away.  
  
Link: Not likely, I'll bet that Navi never gives up, her wings can fly indefinatly.  
  
PurpleLink: Yeah, and Malon herds up horses everyday, just imagine how long she can last against us three.  
  
BlueLink: Saria will tire out, she'll have to give up, just you wait and see.  
  
FatherSkulltula: Welcome boys.  
  
AllLinks: GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
FatherSkulltula: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *girly scream*  
  
BlueLink: Ehh, heart, ah. *breathing heavily*  
  
Link: GreatFairies ain't got nothin on you.  
  
PurpleLink: You nearly made me wet myself!  
  
Link: Really?   
  
PurpleLink: Um, no. *looks down in shame*  
  
BlueLink: Who are you anyway?  
  
FatherSkulltula: Who am I? Who are you! And what are you doing in my house?  
  
BlueLink: Your house? But this place in abandoned!  
  
FatherSkull: It looks that way, so that no one will intrude, apparently it doesn't work!  
  
PurpleLink: Why didn't you just put up boards on the door or something?  
  
FatherSkull: Only have one arm here!  
  
Link: Wait wait wait, hold on one highfalutin minute!  
  
Others: Highfalutin?  
  
Link: Shutup, anyway, didn't I, we, Link cure you in OoT?  
  
FatherSkull: Well some people did. *cough* Authors a loser *cough*  
  
Link: Author? What are you talking about you psychotic mutant?  
  
Bleu[it's french]Link: Forget it, let's just get rid of him now, no witnesses!   
  
FatherSkull: Hmm? Wait! NO!  
  
All three Links grab him, pull him down from his web, and throw him outside, where he is pecked to death by cuccos.  
  
PurpleLink: Ooo, what a way to go, ouch.  
  
Link: Yeah, but on the bright side, we now have a pad!  
  
BlueLink: Yeah!  
  
Voice from ceiling: Oh no you don't!  
  
A SkulltulaKid decends from the ceiling on a webline.  
  
Link: Ugh, how many more are there? *grabs him and throws him out*  
  
KidSkull#1: No wait AHHHHH!!! *gets pecked to death by cuccos*  
  
KidSkull#2: Not so fast, you still have to deal with us!   
  
KidSkull#3: Yeah, that's right!  
  
KidSkull#4: Um, what they said!  
  
KidSkull#5: Yeah!  
  
Link: This shouldn't take long.  
  
BlueLink: *cracks knuckles*  
  
PurpleLink: It's go time!  
  
All three draw their swords, hacking and slashing, slashing and hacking, until finally all four other KidSkulltulas are outside, to meet their uncomfy demise.  
  
Link: Ok, now we have a pad!  
  
Just as he finishes saying that, the door flings open, the light shining in, with a tall shadow, a short shadow, and flying shadow.  
  
AllLinks: *gulp*   
  
Things are about to get painful for those three I imagine, we had better rush over to Kokiri Forest, to see if Mido is being hospitable enough.  
  
Moblin#1: What you want talk about?  
  
BlondGirl: Nothing, tee hee.  
  
Moblin#2: Ok.  
  
Moblin#3: *punches Mido*  
  
Piggy: You guys are mean!  
  
All3: Shutup Piggy.  
  
Moblin#1: I wonder how Loui doing?  
  
Moblin#2: He still stuck me think.  
  
Moblin#3: *punches Mido again*  
  
BlondGirl: I bet Loui is just fine! *under her breathe* who is Loui?  
  
How is Loui indeed?! Let's find out. You have to move first though, ahem, over there, yes go, NOW!.  
  
Loui: So, how long do you suspect it will take Link to get over there?  
  
Jim: I dunno.  
  
Loui: Well do you think anyone will come to save me?  
  
Jim: I dunno.  
  
Loui: Ok, what's your home look like?  
  
Jim: I dunno.  
  
Loui: Do you know any other words? Perhaps?  
  
Jim: *speaking in british accent* Words? Well really friend, what are words? In short, they are a tool, the way that peoples communitcate, because without words, we couldn't very well talk, we would be nothing but uncivilized brutes! Hundreds of languages across hundreds of nations, and peoples. Words make life simple, without words, what would we do but bang on a rock.   
  
Loui: Ok......... but where did that come from?  
  
Jim: I dunno.   
  
Loui: RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.  
  
Ok, that was, quite odd, to say the least. Let's see who have we not seen? Oh yes, that's right, RedLink, and Darunia minus Tingle.   
  
Darunia: So this is the place.  
  
Redlink: This is it huh?  
  
Darunia: Yep.  
  
Redlink: Ya know, I was half way hopeing for something, not made out of rock.  
  
Darunia: Why? When you get tired of a peice of furniture, ya eat it.  
  
Redlink: Yes but, you see, by stomach doesn't really handle rocks well.  
  
Darunia: Bummer.  
  
Redlink: Yeah, so, you got anything else around here to eat?  
  
Darunia: Um, no. But, we can always go down to KFC.  
  
Redlink: KFC?  
  
Darunia: Yeah, Kakariko Fried Cuccos.  
  
Redlink: Hmmm, let's go!  
  
So they head down the mountain, through the trail, past some buildings until finally arriving at the bottom of the well, which has been renovated, and made into a KFC.  
  
Redlink: Give me a bucket!  
  
Link: Give me a bandage.  
  
BlueLink: Give me some ice.  
  
Purplelink: *unconscious*  
  
Darunia: Link?  
  
3Links: Yeah?  
  
Redlink: Link?!  
  
Link: LINK!  
  
BlueLink: LINK!!!  
  
All three embrace, and just ignore purplelink, who is still passed out.  
  
Link: Alright, the gang is together and back in action!   
  
Malon: Not so fast.  
  
Saria: Yeah, we havn't finished beating you yet.  
  
Navi: And I havn't finished watching.  
  
Darunia: Hold on there, what's this about beating these my brother? Eh, brothers?!  
  
Purplelink: *waking up* HuH?  
  
Redlink: LINK!   
  
PurpleLink: LINK!  
  
All four now embrace, again, wait.   
  
Malon: Good, now we can beat you all.  
  
Links: *huddling together in a corner, with their shields, like the Romans* None shall pass!  
  
Navi: You idiot's, those are Kite shields, you need tower shields!  
  
Link: Oh no.  
  
BlueLink: This won't be good.  
  
Purplelink: Bring on the pain!  
  
Redlink: Hey wait, I didn't do anything! *tries to run, but is held on to by the other Links*  
  
Link: Nope, you're stayin!  
  
See I told you they would reunite, just to get beaten, but hey! Well anyway, with that, we bring this chapter to a close. You know I was going to spare you the will bit, but since you gave me that look, I'm going to hit you with it anyway.  
  
Will Zelda ever retake control of her own body? Will she ever reappear?  
  
Will the Skulltula family survive it's feathery ordeal? Of course not, they're dead already!  
  
Will the BlondGirl ever talk of something of significance? Maybe. Will Mido survive? Maybe, but most likely not.  
  
Will Jim ever learn new words? Will he ever speak like a brit? We can hope not. He's a goron after all.  
  
Will the Links ever survive the Trio's wrath? Maybe, since they are the main character after all.  
  
Maybe the next installment will be here sooner next time, who knows. Find out, next time on, or is it in? I don't know, but next time with,   
  
Legend of Zelda: Four Swords, well sorta  
  
P.S. If you are reading this story, I need some reviews, something that tell's me my time is well spent putting this on ff.net, cause if I don't get atleast two reviews from this chapter, then I'm not going to put anymore chapters up. 


	7. Go Around! Go Around!

A/N: Ok readers, I realize it's been, well a long time since I updated, but to make it up to you, I did a really really long chapter(like 2500+ words) also, I've started thanking people who review my stories, but at the moment of this note, which is after the chapter was written, my ISP isn't working right, so I can't check my email to find all the reviewer names, so in general, thanks!  
  
But seriously, if you're pressed for time, don't start now, come back later.  
  
And remember, Read and Review!  
  
Chapter 7: Go around! Go around!  
  
Link: Now now girls, you know you can't get Zelda back without us.  
  
Malon: We'll get her back without your help, you haven't exactly done much thus far!  
  
Navi: Yeah, how am I supposed to deal with four of you!  
  
Saria: Actually I think we need them.  
  
Everyone stopped and looked at Saria.  
  
Redlink: YEAH!  
  
Bluelink: I agree.  
  
Purplelink: Don't hurt me!  
  
Link: Weren't you just saying bring on the pain?  
  
Purplelink: I changed my mind.  
  
Darunia: There is no reason to hurt them, they'll take care of that themselves.  
  
Malon: Oh alright fine, but one more mess up and *slit neck gesture*.  
  
So they all got together, had some fun, eventually heading to Goron city, to "kick it".  
  
Link: *yawn* Goodnight all.  
  
Redlink: Night.  
  
Bluelink: G'night.  
  
Purplelink; *snoring in a bed already*  
  
Malon: Goodnight everyone. Thankyou for your bed Darunia!  
  
Darunia: What? NO!  
  
The door to Darunia's room slams shut, with Malon, Saria and Navi camping out inside.  
  
Darunia: My feather bed. *tearing up* My teddy! *pure rage*   
  
Link: It's ok Darunia, you can crash with us. We've got a pad!  
  
Redlink: Yeah! We do?  
  
Bluelink: Yeah, in Kakariko!   
  
Darunia: Let's go.  
  
So Darunia, Link, Redlink and Bluelink went down to Kakariko, leaving the girls, and Purplelink.  
  
Link: Ah, home sweet home. *stepping in taking a deep breathe* Ahhhhh *coughing* Spider's smell!  
  
Redlink: You chased out the Skulltula family!? Don't you know they are cursed?!  
  
Bluelink: So?  
  
Redlink: So! The curse will be on us now for killing them, or on you I should say.  
  
Link: Ah, whatever.  
  
They all were settling down to sleep, when a knock came to the door.  
  
Link: Hello? *half awake*  
  
ManwithFunnyInstrument: Go Around! Go Around! You shall all Go Around!  
  
Link: Yeah, whatever *slams door in his face*.   
  
MWFI: You are cursed to Go Around!  
  
Link: *yawn* *goes back to bed*  
  
They slept peacefully through the night, but were awoke in the morning by a feathered one.  
  
Cucco: COCKADOODLEDOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Link: Huh?   
  
Redlink: I always hated those things.  
  
Bluelink: Yeah but don't ever hit em.  
  
Darunia: *sleeping soundly*  
  
Link: Well lets go get some breakfast.  
  
The three links meandered out of their new pad, as the sun was rising.  
  
Bluelink: Well, lets go to IHOP.  
  
Redlink: IHOP? I can see KFC, but IHOP?  
  
Link: Yeah, Impa'sHouseOfPorkchops.  
  
Redlink: Sounds, somewhat less than appealing.  
  
The three head inside, and place an order.  
  
20 minutes later  
  
Link: So, how about that milk?  
  
Redlink: Yeah, I mean its not like they aren't even getting any.  
  
Bluelink: *thinking to self* But if Malon is there, then that means,   
  
*Scene of Lon Lon ranch, of Ingo and Talon snoozing, doing nothing.*  
  
Impa: I'm sorry boys, but I'm all out of milk, my delivery hasn't come for today.  
  
All3: Awww man.  
  
Impa: SO GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!  
  
Pushing them all out Impa slams the door shut behind them and locks it up tight.  
  
Bluelink: Now what?  
  
Redlink: Well, we could see if Darunia is awake.  
  
Link: Sure.  
  
So they all went back to their pad, to see if Darunia was awake. He was not.  
  
Link: Well that was a bummer.  
  
Redlink: Yeah, what should we do now?  
  
Before anyone can answer, a young maiden comes running through the middle of town, chased by a group of stalfos.  
  
YoungMaiden: Ahhh! Help me someone! Some Hero, help me!  
  
Bluelink: I'll save you!  
  
Redlink: And I!  
  
Link: As well as I!  
  
All3: Because we are! *all dawn big hats with feathers in em, and draw their swords* The three....,   
  
Link: What are we anyway?  
  
Redlink: I don't know, Hylians?  
  
Bluelink: Ya, but that doesn't roll off the tongue.  
  
YoungMaiden: Will you get off it and save me already!  
  
All3: Oh yes,..... that. Engarde!  
  
They charge into battle, ready for anything.  
  
Link: My sword! *runs back and picks up his sword* Ok, ready now!  
  
Ahem, they charge into battle, ready for anything. Link attacks the first Stalfos before he knows what hit em. Redlink attacks another, smashing his skull to peices. Bluelink cuts another off at the spine.  
  
Stalfos#3: Hey, wait a minute, this isn't in the script!  
  
Stalfos#2*garbled*: Ya, do you know how long this is going to take to fix?  
  
Stalfos#1: I still don't know what hit me.  
  
Stalfos#4: Quit gripeing and kill em!  
  
Stalfos': RAR! *they charge after the links*  
  
Link:Booya! Who wants some! *dices one stalfos, while holding another back by its forehead*  
  
Redlink: This is a waste of my obvious talents. *killing stalfos, while looking very dashing*  
  
Bluelink: Oh shut up ya stupid ballerina. *smashing them quite barbaricly*  
  
StalfosCaptain: STOP! YOU NUMBSKULLS! CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT!  
  
Link: Of course not, they have no brains!  
  
Redlink: That's true.  
  
Bluelink: Ha ha, your soldiers are brainless!  
  
SC: Die. *throws a bone boomerang at them*  
  
Link: Whoa. *ducks it*  
  
Redlink: Look out now! *bends back, to be missed*  
  
Bluelink: Huh? *gets smacked right in the face with it, knocking him out*  
  
YoungMaiden: Some Hero.  
  
Link: Well I don't see you fighting.  
  
YoungMaiden: I don't have to, that's your job. *crossing her arms*  
  
Redlink: Well if you hadn't asked for help, he wouldn't be conked out!  
  
YoungMaiden: And if you hadn't been such a claud, I wouldn't be in this mess.  
  
Link: And if you..  
  
SC: Excuse me, but we have a fight to take care of here.  
  
Links: Oh right. *quickly kill all the stalfos except for the captain*  
  
Link: Now as I was saying, if you hadn't been so helpless! Big, strong, mighty men,   
  
Redlink: Don't forget good looking!  
  
Link: Good looking,   
  
Bluelink: Don't forget valiant.  
  
Link: Yes, valiant, and   
  
YoungMaiden: Full of themselves?  
  
Link: Yes quite full of ourselves, HEY WAIT A MINUTE!   
  
StalfosCaptain: Why do I always get the dumb lackeys.  
  
The poor StalfosCaptain walks off, in defeat. The Links argue with the YoungMaiden until noon.  
  
Link: And if you...  
  
Impa: Oh knock it off already! *throws a tomato from her window*  
  
Redlink: Hey, we could see if Darunia is awake yet.  
  
Link: Sure.  
  
So they all went back to their pad, to see if Darunia was awake. He was not.  
  
Link: Well that was a bummer.  
  
Bluelink: I get the distinct feeling we've done this before.  
  
YoungMaiden: I haven't.  
  
Link: Yeah, but we have.  
  
Redlink: We have?  
  
Bluelink: Yes you idiot, do you not remember? You've suggested that we check on Darunia twice now.  
  
Redlink: Oh yeah.  
  
All: Hmmm.  
  
They sit there pondering until about midafternoon.  
  
Purplelink: Hey guys! I came to see what you were up tahhhh! *walking down the stairs, trips, breaks neck, and dies*  
  
YoungMaiden: Oh my! Shouldn't we help him!  
  
Link: Link! My brother, my pal!  
  
Redlink: Link! He was always like a littlebrother to me.  
  
Bluelink: He was my mentor.  
  
Impa: Your all the same! You idiots! *from window*  
  
Link: She disgraces the dead!  
  
Redlink: We must punish her!  
  
Bluelink: But she knows Judo.  
  
Link: She didn't disgrace him THAT bad did she?  
  
Redlink: Nah, it's cool.  
  
Bluelink: I agree.  
  
YoungMaiden: Panzys.  
  
Just then, a squadron of bomber cuccos flies overhead. Air raid sirens start blaring.  
  
RandomVillager: It's the cuccos! Seek shelter! *runs inside skulltula house*  
  
Link: Hey! That's our pad!  
  
AnotherRandomVillager: It's also on top of the nuke shelter.  
  
Redlink: Really?  
  
ARV: Really.  
  
All run inside and hide in the "nuke" shelter.  
  
YoungMaiden: So why are they bombing us?  
  
RV: Because, they see us as unpure.  
  
ARv: They think that they are superior.  
  
Link: But they're cuccos? How could they possiblily be superior?  
  
RV: Beats me.  
  
Redlink: Who's their leader?  
  
ARV: Her. *holds up picture of Anju, with a small mustache under her nose.* The Fuhrer.  
  
Bluelink: Whoa.  
  
30 minutes pass  
  
ARV: Well that should be it.  
  
RV: You go up and check. *pointing at Bluelink*  
  
Bluelink: Me? Why me?  
  
YetAnotherRandomVillager: Because, you look like the best one here. *under breathe* And the biggest sap.  
  
Bluelink: Okay! *runs up* AH! It reaks up here!  
  
*Scene of Kakariko, covered in little white dots, everywhere*  
  
YARV: Well, you told us all we need to know. *through gasmask*  
  
ARV: Yeah thanks Link, or should I say scapegoat. *through gasmask*  
  
RV: Hey, it's a dirty job, but one of you had to do it. *through gasmask*  
  
Link&Redlink: Ya, thanks bro. *through hasmat suits*  
  
Bluelink: Why you little! *leaps at them with fists of fury*  
  
YoungMaiden: That's enough guys. *through Samus's power suit*   
  
Links: When did you get that?  
  
YoungMaiden: I found it.  
  
Link: Found it? As in?  
  
YM: Down there somewhere.  
  
Redlink: Hey, we could see if Darunia is awake yet?  
  
Link: Sure.  
  
So they all went back to their pad, to see if Darunia was awake. He was not. Again.  
  
Link: Well that's a bummer.  
  
Bluelink: RRRR, I'm telling you we've done this before!  
  
Redlink: Ok, I could believe that I had done it once, but not twice.  
  
YM: So, what we gonna do?  
  
Link: I don't know, what you wanna do?  
  
Several hours pass, making it past sunset.  
  
YM: So, what we gonna do?  
  
Link: I don't know, what you wanna do?  
  
Impa: SHUT UP! *throws knife from window, killing the YoungMaiden*  
  
Link: NO! I was going to marry her! Just as soon as I figured out how to get her out of that suit!  
  
Redlink: Ok, that's it, she's going down this time!  
  
Bluelink: But she still knows Judo!  
  
Link: Ya, she wasn't that great I guess.  
  
Redlink: Hey, we coul   
  
Link&Bluelink: Don't even. *hands over his mouth*  
  
Bluelink: Come on, let's go home.  
  
So they walk back to their house and go to bed.  
  
But a knock on the door late at night brings them all to the door.  
  
Link: Hello? *half asleep*  
  
MWFI: Go Around! Go Around! You shall all Go Around! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!*Joker laugh*  
  
*to the sports center diddy* GO AROUND! GO AROUND!, GO AROUND! GO AROUND!  
  
Cucco: COCKADOODLEDOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Link: Ugh, what a nightmare.  
  
Redlink: You're tellin me.  
  
Bluelink: Man does that goron ever wake up?  
  
Link: Guess not.  
  
Redlink: Why do I get that "we've done this all before" feeling?  
  
Link: Because you're an idiot? Well maybe IHOP will have milk this morning.  
  
They all get up and go to Impa'sHouseofPorkchops and place an order.  
  
20 minutes later.  
  
Link: Man, she is just as slow this morning as yesterday.  
  
Redlink: Yea, but I know I saw that guy sitting there yesterday.  
  
Bluelink: Ya, and come to think of it, my fork was dirty yesterday too.  
  
Link: And my butt itches again too.  
  
Impa: More info than I needed, sorry boys, but I'm all out of milk, my delivery hasn't come for today.  
  
Link: But you said that yesterday.  
  
Impa: You weren't here yesterday, and besides that, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! *she pushes them out*  
  
Redlink: Anyone else getting that funny feeling?  
  
Bluelink: Ya, kinda.  
  
Link: It's just hunger, it'll pass.  
  
Bluelink: So now what?  
  
Redlink: Well, we could go see if Darunia is awake yet.  
  
Link: Sure.  
  
So they all went back to their pad, to see if Darunia was awake. He was not.  
  
Link: Well that was a bummer.  
  
Bluelink: Okay, this is REALLY familiar.  
  
Redlink: Yea, it seems like only yesterday we were kicked out of Impa's.  
  
Link: We were, the woman can't remember a thing.   
  
Before anyone can answer, a young maiden comes running through the middle of town, chased by a group of stalfos.  
  
Bluelink: Now, I know that we've done this before.  
  
Link: Oh well, we'll do it again.  
  
YoungMaiden: Ahhh! Help me someone! Some Hero, help me!  
  
Link: Should we, I mean we already know we'll win? So why bother?  
  
Redlink: Yeah, we won yesterday, but not today, which is, or was yesterday, yet still being today.  
  
Bluelink: There's a paradox.  
  
YoungMaiden: Hey Isaac Newton, how about you try saving me instead of thinking!  
  
Links: Ok.  
  
All three jump into battle quickly and effortlessly killing all the stalfos, and leaving the captain to leave in defeat.  
  
YoungMaiden: Oh mighty warriors, thank you for saving my life. How may I repay you?  
  
Link: Um.....  
  
Redlink: Well you could....  
  
Bluelink: Then there is....  
  
They think on that until noon.  
  
Link: You could....  
  
Redlink: Hey, we could see if Darunia is awake yet.  
  
Link: Sure.  
  
So they all went back to their pad, to see if Darunia was awake. He was not.  
  
Link: Well that was a bummer.  
  
Bluelink: So we've heard.  
  
Redlink: This really doesn't make sense, how can a goron sleep so long?  
  
Link: I don't know, I just don't know.  
  
They sit there pondering until about midafternoon.  
  
Purplelink: Hey guys!   
  
Link: LINK STOP!  
  
Redlink: Look out Link!  
  
Bluelink: You must not take another step!  
  
Purplelink: Okay? *stops* Why?  
  
Before any can answer the Helmaroc King(the giant bird from WW) swoops in and snatches him.  
  
Purplelink: Ahhhhhhhh!  
  
Link: Hmm, I guess he's doomed to some kind of fateful death.  
  
Bluelink: Yeah, well, now what?  
  
Air raid sirens start blaring, signaling the cucco bomber run.  
  
RandomVillager: It's the cuccos! Seek shelter! *runs inside skulltula house*  
  
Link: Okay, I'm really starting to think this is old news.  
  
Redlink: Ya, I mean who else has a nuke shelter under their house?  
  
Bluelink: Not many, hey we should sell the joint, make lots of money!  
  
Links: YEAH!  
  
YoungMaiden: We can worry about that later, because your market value is about to go way down.  
  
All run inside and hide in the "nuke" shelter.  
  
YoungMaiden: So why are they bombing us?  
  
Link: Because they see us as pureay.  
  
Redlink: They think they are slipperyer.  
  
Bluelink: Their leader is the Freeher.  
  
YoungMaiden: Huh?  
  
RandomVillager: You guys have no idea what you're talking about do you?  
  
Links: No idea.  
  
30 minutes pass  
  
AnotherRandomVillager: Well that should be it.  
  
RandomVillager: You go up and check. *pointing at Bluelink*  
  
Bluelink: Oh no, I'm not going up there, I say she goes up there, with her fancy power suit.  
  
YoungMaiden: Huh? Oh this old thing, ok. *puts on suit and goes outside*  
  
RV: Well that was easy, but where did she get that suit?  
  
Link: Beats me.  
  
YoungMaiden: All clear! Well, sorta.  
  
*Scene of Kakariko, covered in little white dots, everywhere*  
  
RV: Well let's go. *through gasmask*  
  
ARV: Yes, back to our homes, to start cleaning up. *through gasmask*  
  
Link&Redlink: Yes, back we go. *through hasmat suits*  
  
Bluelink: Hey, where's mine?  
  
RV: You don't get one. *through gasmask*  
  
Bluelink: Man!  
  
Redlink: Hey, we could see if Darunia is awake yet?  
  
Link: Sure.  
  
So they all went back to their pad, to see if Darunia was awake. He was not. Again.  
  
Link: Well that's a bummer.  
  
Bluelink: There you go again, the same notes again!  
  
Several hours pass, making it past sunset.  
  
YoungMaiden: So, what we gonna do?  
  
Link: NO! *tackles her* Don't say it.  
  
Impa: Oh, for crying out loud, get a room! *throws knife killing the YoungMaiden*  
  
Link: NO! Not again! I shall avenge you!  
  
Bluelink: Judo.  
  
Link: She'll be better in no time at all.  
  
Redlink: Yeah, Hey, we could see if Darunia is awake yet.  
  
Bluelink: How about we just go to bed?  
  
Link: That sounds good.  
  
So they walk back to their house and go to bed.  
  
But a knock on the door late at night brings them all to the door.  
  
Link: Hello? *half....conscious?*  
  
MWFI: Go Around! Go Around! You shall all Go Around!  
  
Link: Okay, whatever. *slams door*  
  
*same as above* GO AROUND! GO AROUND!, GO AROUND! GO AROUND!  
  
Cucco: COCKADOODLEDOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Link: Again?  
  
Redlink: Okay, that's it, we offically need help.  
  
Bluelink: I agree, let's go find the old man who roams about behind our house.  
  
Walking outside, they find the old man who roams about behind the house.  
  
Link: Excuse me, old man who roams about behind our house?  
  
OMWRABTH: Yes sonny?  
  
Redlink: We we're wondering if you could help us.  
  
OMWRABTH: Oh? What with?  
  
Bluelink: Well, you see sir, we seem to be repeating this day, over and over again.  
  
OMWRABTH: Oh my, that would be a problem. I should think that, the only way to undo all this is to find the source.  
  
Links: Huh???????????  
  
OMWRABTH: But until you do that, you could always take advantage of the situation.  
  
Link: MMMMM????  
  
Redlink: What do you mean?  
  
Bluelink: Yes do tell.  
  
OMWRABTH: Well, since you are repeating the same day over and over, there would be no consequenses for your actions, since no one would remember except you three.  
  
Link, Link and Link all look at each other and give an evil smile, the likes of which Ganon himself never acheived.  
  
Link: Might I propose an evil chuckle?  
  
Redlink&Bluelink: Agreed.  
  
Links: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *evil chuckling*  
  
The Links all walk into IHOP, and draw their swords. All the other customers vacate the premises.  
  
Impa: So grasshoppers, you think you can handle the master.  
  
Link: Yes, we do.  
  
Impa: Verywell, if that is what you wish. *motioning them forward*  
  
Links: AHHHHH!!! *battlecry*  
  
Impa: Wahhhhh! *martial arts cry?*  
  
Amidst lots of butt whooping, Link managed to land a single blow. But it meant nothing.  
  
Redlink: Red leader to base, I'm hit! AHhhhhh! *get's neck snapped by Impa*  
  
Impa: Next?  
  
Bluelink: Have at ye! *throws boomerang*  
  
Impa catches it in mid air, throws it back with might force, piercing Bluelink's heart with it.  
  
Impa: And you?  
  
Link: I'm good, cya later. *tries to run out, but is stopped by Impa's telekenetick(sp) powers*  
  
Impa: You dare run from a battle?  
  
Link: I like to think of it as... a tactical retreat. *squirms, to no avail*  
  
Impa: Link, there's something you should know.  
  
Link: Yes?  
  
Impa: I am your uncle's, sister's, cousin's, friend's, roomate's, boyfriend's long lost mother.  
  
Link: That would make you.... really old?  
  
Impa: *narrows gaze, and tightens grip* Yes, but that's not the point.   
  
Link: OOOkay, what does this have to do with me?  
  
Impa: Nothing, I just felt like confusing you before you die *breaks every bone in his body, eww*  
  
Link: Oy! *dies*  
  
GO AROUND! GO AROUND!, GO AROUND! GO AROUND!  
  
Cucco: COCKADOODLEDOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Link: Huh? Hey! I'm alive!  
  
Redlink: YEAH! Me too!  
  
Bluelink: Told ya she knew Judo. But nooo, we outnumber her they said, kill her easily they said, all the porkchops I could handle they said.  
  
Link&Redlink: We didn't say that.  
  
Bluelink: Oh! Must have been the voices in my head.  
  
Link: Right...... SOOOO, now that we know that won't work  
  
Redlink: Oh come on fellas! If at first you don't succeed! Try try again!  
  
Links: YEAH!  
  
Darunia: *snore* (felt like it)  
  
Once again they walk in, defiantly, but this time they drop their swords, and unlatch their shields, and go unarmed, yet prepared.  
  
Bluelink: HEY! My arms are gone! *has no arms*  
  
Ahem, they go....weaponless.  
  
Bluelink Whew. *arms are back*  
  
Customers clear out, and Impa goes through same speech, while Link files his nails, Redlink stares off into space, and Bluelink picks his nose.  
  
Impa: I'm talking here!  
  
Link: Huh?  
  
Redlink: *clears drool* huh?  
  
Bluelink: Huh? OWWW! *jams finger up nose, starts to bleed* Awww man!  
  
Impa: HIYAAAAAA! *leaps at Bluelink and kicks the... well, the snot out of him, and blood too*  
  
Bluelink: I die! *dies*  
  
Link: WIYAAAAAAAAA! *gets Impa in a halfnaked choke hold(isn't as nasty as it sounds)*  
  
Redlink: Free hits! WHOOOO! *punches Impa's stomach repeatedly, and breaks his hands* OWWw!  
  
Impa: HAhahaha! That's what 5000 situps a day will get you! OOOYA! *flips Link over her shoulder and twists his arm*  
  
Customer: Could I get a refill?  
  
Impa: HIYA! *chops his head off with hand*  
  
Redlink: *leans in to dead customer* I'm guessin that's a no.  
  
Impa: Die fool! *punches Redlink and rips out his heart, still beating* MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Link: Well, cya later! *tries to leave, but once again fails* Aww nuts.  
  
Impa: Going somewhere?  
  
Link: *sheepishly* no.  
  
Impa: Good.... STAY FOR DINNER! It's on the house! *throws Redlink's heart at him, somehow killing him with it*  
  
Link: I'll see you tomorrow!  
  
GO AROUND! GO AROUND!, GO AROUND! GO AROUND!  
  
Cucco: COCKADOODLEDOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Link: Alright men, let's get her!  
  
Links: AHHHHHH! *battlecry, mixed with weeping*  
  
*Scene outside IHOP, sounds of butt whooping are heard*  
  
OMWRABTH: Ooo my, foolish youths.  
  
RV: Yep, say gramps, put up your dukes! *gets in boxing stance*  
  
OMWRABTH: Now look youngin...  
  
RV: Aww come on *throws a few play punches at him*  
  
OMWRABTH: ALRIGHT THAT'S IT! *pulls off his robe to reveal a 7ft. tall muscle ripped dude, with boxing gloves* You want some of me kid?!  
  
RV: *has wet himself* No......  
  
*Sounds of bone crunching, and sreaming are heard throughtout Hyrule*  
  
Impa: AND STAY OUT! *slams door*  
  
Link: Ahhhh, okay, how about we not do that again. *bruised all over*  
  
Redlink: Yeah... even my bruises have bruises.  
  
Bluelink: *is perfectly fine, eating popcorn* Oh man, what a fight, did you see the way she gave that mean left hook, and then the duck and kick, aw man, what a fight!  
  
Link: *glaring evily* Shall we?  
  
Redlink: *also glaring evily* We shall. *both unleash swords and do a little butt whooping of their own*  
  
Once again our YoungMaiden comes running through town, being chased by Stalfos.  
  
All three Link's stand on the corner and watch.  
  
YoungMaiden: Help me help!!!! *later manages to elude the stalfos*  
  
StalfosCaptian: You three! Where'd that girly go!?  
  
Link: Mmmm, that way *crosses arms pointing in two different directions*  
  
SC: Thanks alot guys thanks alot!!! *runs one way, his army runs the other*  
  
Redlink: Man, it's great bein smarter than the other guys am I right?  
  
Bluelink: You said it.  
  
Awhile later, Purplelink decends the staircase.  
  
Purplelink: Hey guys! I.....*dies from multiple arrow wounds*  
  
Link: Your right, that was fun.  
  
Redlink: I told you so.  
  
Bluelink: I still say we should have used a bear trap.  
  
Link: Tomorrow my good man, tomorrow.  
  
Once again, later on, the air raid sirens blow, signaling the bomber birds.  
  
Link: You know what fella's, what's it matter? We'll start the day over anyhow right?  
  
Redlink: Yeah! And I for one will not be intimidated! *starts scooting away from the others*  
  
Bluelink: That's right! Come on cuccos! Do your worst!  
  
Redlink slips inside the shelter unawares to the other two.  
  
Link: We three stand here to defy you! Right?  
  
Bluelink: RIGHT!  
  
Link: Right?!.... ahem, RIGHT!? Hey where is he anyway?  
  
Bluelink: That coward! *sees him taunting them from the door*  
  
Link: Fine then, we three shall stand here! *holds up the dead purplelink*  
  
Bluelink: Yes! For Kakariko! *helps hold up the corpse*  
  
5 mintues later  
  
Link: AHHH Get em off! Get em off! AhaAAAAAAA!  
  
Bluelink: Let us in! *pounds on shelter door*  
  
Voicefromwithin: I'm sorry, I can't do that Dave.  
  
Link: But this is LINK!  
  
VFW: I'm sorry, I can't do that Link.  
  
Link&Bluelink: WHY NOT!!!!!!!!! *crying*  
  
25 minutes later  
  
Link: Ever get the feeling that was a bad idea?  
  
Bluelink: All the time, all the time.  
  
YoungMaiden: Hi guys *in power suit* What's up?  
  
Link&Bluelink: *both covered in....excrement and feathers* Uh.......  
  
YoungMaiden: Well IF you had saved me earlier I would have let you onto my awsome ship, but oh well.  
  
Link: Ship?  
  
Bluelink: Who are you anyway?  
  
YoungMaiden: Well, I'm actually ahhhh! *knife sticking out of her neck*  
  
Impa: I told ya once, I tell ya again! SHUT UP! *from window, do I really need to say it?*  
  
Link: Well, now that we DON'T know who she is, let's go get some shut eye.  
  
Bluelink: But we still don't know the cause of our problems.  
  
Redlink: Sure we do, it's that guy, ya know from our dream?  
  
Link: Ah yes, him, tonight, we sleep! Tomorrow!   
  
Bluelink: We set bear traps all over the city.  
  
Link: Right, but the day after that!  
  
Redlink: We try everything possible to wake up Darunia.  
  
Link: Okay, but the day after THAT!  
  
Bluelink: Ummmmmm  
  
Redlink: Hmmmmmm  
  
Link: We kill! KILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Blue&Redlink: KILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
GO AROUND! GO AROUND!, GO AROUND! GO AROUND!  
  
Cucco: COCKADOODLEDOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! *looks around, nobody is getting up, and the ground is black* Bwak? COCKADOODLEDOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *breathes* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*passes out*  
  
The ground is indeed black, black with bear traps, and three miscivious souls sit atop the redroof house, just waiting for someone to set off, a trap.... or two.  
  
Link: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Bluelink: Shutup! You'll alert them to our presence!  
  
Redlink: Shhhhh, here comes someone now.  
  
RandomVillager: My it's a wonderful day, the sun is shining, the cuccos are clucking! The bear traps are springing! *looks at feet, which are bleeding horribly* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Get em off!   
  
Link: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!X2, I told you this plan would work.  
  
Bluelink: Ahem, it was my idea.  
  
Link: Ya, but I'm you, so it was my idea.  
  
Redlink: Hey, we could see if Darunia is awake yet?  
  
Link: Sure.  
  
Redlink slides off the room, and consequently is snapped by over a dozen traps, ouch.  
  
Link: HAHAHAHAHA, sucker.  
  
Several hours pass, making it time for purplelink to burst onto the scene.  
  
Bluelink: Shhh shh, here he comes.  
  
Purplelink: Ahhhh, what a find day! *doesn't notice the traps snapping onto his feet and ankles*  
  
Link: I don't get it, its as if... as if he doesn't notice!  
  
Narrarator: That's what I just said!  
  
Link: Oh sorry, *under breathe* who was that guy?  
  
Bluelink: *shrugs shoulders* Maybe a little diversion... yessss *chuckles evily*   
  
Purplelink: I wonder where my brothers could be... my feet itch. *reaches down but comes up with a bear trap on his hand* Hmmm, that's odd. I feel kinda funnn..... *passes out and dies from blood loss*  
  
Link: Finally! *swings arms out, knocking bluelink off the roof, into the traps* Oops... sorry!  
  
Bluelink: I'LL GET YOU! *snap! snap!*  
  
Link: Well, now what?  
  
*Helmeroc King swoops down and snatches him*  
  
Link: This I guess......  
  
GO AROUND! GO AROUND!, GO AROUND! GO AROUND!  
  
Cucco: COCKADOODLEDOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Link: Okay, it's time to Kill!  
  
Redlink: No silly, that's tomorrow, today we wake up the sleeping goron.  
  
Link: Oh yeah....  
  
Bluelink: Alrighty, what should be try first?  
  
Link: Scalding hot metal?  
  
All: Sure.  
  
Bluelink: *Whips out a branding iron, heats it up, and jabs it into Darunia's side* Whoooeee! Yeeha!  
  
Darunia: *scratches, doesn't awaken*  
  
All: Hmmmm.....  
  
Link: Loud music?  
  
All: Sure. *blare Balad of the Windfish at him, to no avail* Drat.  
  
Redlink: We need to wake this goron up, any ideas?  
  
Bluelink: Just how nice it would be to wake this goron up.  
  
Redlink: *frustrated* Other than how nice it would be to wake this goron up?  
  
Link&Bluelink: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.............  
  
5 hours later  
  
Redlink: Well?  
  
Link: Well, we've tried, branding, blaring, burning, beating, basting, bashing, bamboozleing(?), bombing, booing, banning, bopping, brimming, buzzing, blasting, baming, booming, beamosing(hehe), bereaving, beavering, binging, boging, blingblinging, bassing, bringing, brewing, and finally, booping. All in alphabetical order!  
  
Redlink: No it wasn't!  
  
Link: They all started with b! he he.  
  
Bluelink: *sigh* And then we tried, dumping, dinging, donging, dodongoing, drinking(???), driping, damping, dabbing, dawning, duneing, diiiiii I can't do it.  
  
Link: HA HA! *flexes muscles* YA!  
  
Redlink: I'm beginning to think this is hopeless. And helpless, and hapless, and..... ok I'm done.  
  
Link: Still champion! YA!!!!!!!  
  
Bluelink: Okay, it's not going to happen, let's just go get that Man with the Funny Instrument.  
  
Link: YA!  
  
Darunia: YA!  
  
All three stare at him.  
  
Darunia: What?  
  
Link: BOUT TIME! Hey, there's another Bouting!  
  
Bluelink: Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!  
  
Darunia: What? What did I do?  
  
Redlink: You finally woke up!  
  
Darunia: I did? I mean, I was asleep? Huh, I guess I must have been dreaming. There were alot of Bing's around.  
  
Link: *whistles innocently*  
  
Redlink: Great! Now all we have to do is wait for tonight when the man comes back to visit, and Kill him!  
  
Link: KILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link must Kill!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Later that evening....  
  
*knock, knock*  
  
Link: Yesss? *mischiviously*  
  
MWFI: You shall all Go Around!  
  
Link: Ummm, no DIE!  
  
TheRest: DIE!  
  
All leap upon and start beating him.  
  
Link: That's my word!  
  
Narrartor: Okay fine, severly HURT him.  
  
Link: That's better.  
  
MWFI: It's to late! You're cursed! CURSEDDDDDDD! *get's snatched up by the Helmeroc King*  
  
Link: You know, that happens more often than not.  
  
Redlink: True dat, true dat.  
  
Bluelink: But wait! What about the YoungMaiden, what about Link? What about the birdy bomber?  
  
Link: Already got it covered.  
  
*Scene of Impa surrounded by smashed bones, then pillows all over the staircase, and finally bowmen at the ready*  
  
Link: I even got that hot chicks phone number.... whatever that is.  
  
YoungMaiden: *takes off helmet on ship* I always told Zelda that Link was a moron.  
  
Computer: Yes you did Samus, yes you did.  
  
And so Samus's ship flies off towards yonder evil palace *crunch!* that is AFTER hitting the windmill in the village.  
  
Samus: Sorry! *beep beep beep beep beep, shift gear, flies away*  
  
Narrator:And so with that, we come  
  
Link: Whoa whoa whoa!  
  
Narrartor:Yes, what is it?  
  
Link: You call THAT an ending?  
  
Narrartor: Look buddy, I just tell it like it is, I don't come up with the stuff.  
  
Link: Ya, but can't you change something? Like make a big fireworks display, something fun?  
  
Narrartor: Oh fine. *somehow catches Links crotch on fire*  
  
Link: AhhhHH!! IT BURNS AH HAAHAAAAA! WATER WATER I NEED WATER!  
  
Narrartor: And so with THAT we come to the end of another exciting chapter of   
  
WhisperingVoiceFromSomewhere: aspahadofhdiaofhpdkahdl  
  
Narrartor: Oh yes that bit, alright, we aren't done yet.  
  
It's that time again kids! It's time for Will's!  
  
Will I even remember everything in this chapter to do this segment? NO!  
  
Will IHOP or KFC sue me for use of their acronyms? I hope not! They wouldn't get much anyway.  
  
Will Impa ever get more milk!? Not while Malon's away.  
  
Will Darunia ever wake up?  
  
Daruina: Ahem, I did wake.  
  
Oh, well, nevermind that one.  
  
Will the poor StalfosCaptain ever get to command a real army? Probably not, he doesn't have good hygiene.  
  
Will Link, Link and Link ever figure out what they are so as to mock the three musketeers?! Maybe  
  
Will Stalfo#1 ever figure out what hit him?  
  
Will Link, Link and Link ever be able to combat Impa-san? You tell me.  
  
Will Anju's facsit regime of cucco domination ever be stopped?   
  
I hear they're working on it in Gerudo valley.  
  
Will I get sued by Sport Center for use of their diddy? Possibliy.  
  
Will Link ever hook up with the YoungMaiden who just so happens to be Samus?   
  
Ya, maybe in your twisted minds, I'm dealing with reality here.  
  
Will anyone ever defeat the OMWRABTH, undesputed heavy weight champ of hyrule? Nope.  
  
Will anyone ever remember what happened here? Well, you will, maybe.  
  
Will this section ever stop!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*Helmeroc King swoops in and snatches the Narrartor*  
  
I guess soooooooo.............. 


	8. Eight chapters strong, and behold! A dun...

A/N: OKAY FOUR SWORDS FANS! I'm finally updating, lucky you. I'll try and update more often from now on. After listening to some awesome zelda music, done by a symphony, and the SSBM soundtrack done by an orchestra, I'm all pumped up and inspired and ready to write! So without further ado, let's get it on! But real quick, I'd like to thank all the people who have reviewed my story.  
  
Chapter 8: Eight chapters strong, and behold! A dungeon!  
  
Hello there gentle reader, I'm glad you're back. I'm sure you're all wondering how I escaped the clutches of that foul bird eh?   
  
*Giant drum stick can be seen in the background*   
  
Well, let's just say I cooked his goose. Anyway, our fair hero's have managed to get themselves out of another mess, but can they handle......*be surprised now*   
  
THE WRATH OF MALON!  
  
I don't know.... I just don't know..., also, we'll be sure and check up on our other hero's adventures.  
  
But for now, on with... whatever this thing is.  
  
*Scene of Vaati's palace*  
  
Vaati: WHAT! WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S GONE?!  
  
Moblin: Uh.... she's gone. Yep that's what I mean.  
  
Vaati: YOU IDIOT! *zaps him with a lightining bolt* Great, just great now what? What else could possibly go wrong?  
  
*Doo do do do do doo dooo doo*   
  
Mario: Yippie!  
  
Luigi: Yo ho!  
  
Vaati: Who are you... and what are you doing here?  
  
Mario: It'sa me, Mario!  
  
Luigi: Anda me, Luigi!  
  
Both: And we're the Mario Bros! Complete with accessories! *Luigi is wearing the Poltergeist3000, and Mario has the LUDD?(the water thingy)*  
  
Vaati: Okay, that's quite nice, BUT WHY ARE YOU IN MY PALACE?!  
  
Mario: We'sa gotta a call to come anda save Princess Zelda!  
  
Vaati: So it was you who took her!  
  
Luigi: Um, no, we justa gota here.  
  
Vaati: Eh?  
  
Mario: Zelda! *calling out and looking around.  
  
Luigi: Zelda! *the same*  
  
Vaati: She's not here!  
  
Mario: Oh.... okie dokie, gooda byea!  
  
Vaati: Oh no you don't, you're not leaving so quickly! *zaps at both with magicy stuff*  
  
Luigi: Look outa! *pushes Mario out of the way, saving him*  
  
Mario: Thanksa! Now, drink up! *squirts water at him, drowning him*  
  
Vaati: *gurgle gurgle gurgle*  
  
Luigi: Anda don't forget the bombsa! *sucks up a bomb and shoots it at him*  
  
*KABOOM!*  
  
*Dust clears, revealing a very blown up palace*  
  
Luigi: Ooops!  
  
Mario: Look whata you did! Now what are we to do?  
  
Toad: Mario!  
  
Mario: Toad?  
  
Toad: I'm sorry, but our princess is in another castle!  
  
Mario: Oh nooooo!  
  
Luigi: *sighs*  
  
Well, that would make things quite boring wouldn't it now? Vaati.... dead? My my my. Onward, to Kakariko! (again)  
  
Link: I'm tellin ya, she was totally in to me.  
  
Redlink: Ya right, she was lookin at me.  
  
Bluelink: Oh come on guys, it's obvious she wanted me.  
  
Purplelink: *waking up from pillowy bed* Hey guys!  
  
Links: LINK! *all embrace in a big group hug*  
  
Purplelink: What? You guys act as if I was dead or somethin?  
  
Redlink: But you we *smack!*  
  
Link: What he means is, you were just looking...... lonely!  
  
Darunia: No he wasn't.  
  
Bluelink: *whispering to Daruina* Shut up, shut up!  
  
Purplelink: Anyway, I came to tell you guys that Malon is really mad at you guys for leaving, she's fuuming even as we speak!  
  
*Death Mountain errupts*  
  
Purplelink: See!  
  
Link: Aww man, she's gonna try to kill us again ain't she?  
  
Redlink: Yep.  
  
Bluelink: Most likely.  
  
Darunia: Never fear my brothers! I shall protect you!  
  
Links: *stare with raised eyebrows* Right.....  
  
So they all walk up the Death Mountain trail, and then into Goron City, where they meet, MALON'S WRATH! (just like Majora's Wrath... but... different...?)  
  
MALON'S WRATH: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!  
  
Bluelink: Um.... we was just... well you see we.... don't kill me!  
  
Link: Get ahold of yourself man!  
  
Redlink: Ya! *pushes Purplelink forward* Besides, it was his fault!  
  
Purplelink: What? Hey, no it wasn't!  
  
3links: Was too.  
  
Purplelink: No! I did as you asked, don't hurt me!  
  
MALON'S WRATH: SILENCE! YOU ALL SHALL SUFFER! NOW WHERE'S MY HAMMER?  
  
Navi: Over here over here, over *whoosh! stuffed into a bag*  
  
Link: Be quiet!  
  
Saria: *yawn* What's going on this morning?  
  
MALON'S WRATH: ALL SHALL SUFFER!  
  
Saria: Now now Malon, we've been over this, you can't kill them, because without them, we'd be dead.  
  
MALON'S WRATH: WE HAVE?! ........ OH ALRIGHT, BUT NEXT TIME! *kill gesture*  
  
Navi: Ahem, as I was saying, let's get going.  
  
Link: Yes, let's get going, we don't want to keep that dungeon waiting!  
  
Darunia: We're finally going to do that?  
  
Redlink: Yep!  
  
Bluelink: Only took us eight chapters.  
  
All: What?  
  
Bluelink: I don't know, why are you all stareing at me like that.  
  
Navi: ANYWAY! Let's go.  
  
So they all headed into the Death Mountain Crater where they found the entrance to the temple once again.  
  
Link: So, who's first?  
  
Malon: You are. *pushes him in*  
  
Link: Aaaaiiiiieeeeee! *smack, acordein(um, that loony toons sound)*  
  
Redlink: Do you think he's alright?  
  
Malon: I don't know, why don't you go find out! *pushes him in*  
  
Navi: You're having to much fun doing that you know.  
  
Malon: I know. *looks at Bluelink*  
  
Bluelink: Okay okay. *pushes Purplelink in* Geranamo!(sp?) *leaps in himself*  
  
Malon: Well that was surprisingly easy.  
  
Navi: Yep, you're next! *pushes Malon in*  
  
Malon: You'll payyyyyyy!  
  
Darunia: So.....  
  
Navi: Get in tubby.  
  
Darunia: Okay.... *jumps in, causing an 8.5 on the richter scale*  
  
Navi: And you.  
  
Saria: Oh... I just remembered, I have something to, um AHHH! *gets pushed in*  
  
Navi: MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *flies in*  
  
Down, deep in the depths, lay four hero's all unconscious. One very disgruntled farm girl, a giant crater from a fat goron, one crying kokiri, and one fairy.  
  
Malon: I hate you Navi.  
  
Darunia: Uh......  
  
Saria: That wasn't nice Navi. *crys*  
  
Link: Huh..?   
  
Redlink: Oh my head.  
  
Bluelink: Hey, I'm alive!  
  
Purplelink: Jerk.  
  
Link: Alright calm down everybody, I've got a plan!  
  
All: You do?  
  
Link: Um, no actually I was hoping someone else did.  
  
All: *sigh*  
  
Tingle: I've got you covered!  
  
Redlink: AHHHH! It's my nightmare all over again! Helpppp! *runs off*  
  
Bluelink: Wait it's only......*looks at Tingle* AAAHHHHHH! *runs off the other way*  
  
Malon: You wimps.  
  
Link: Never fear me lady, I shall protect you fromt his dispicable feind!  
  
Navi: You do know he's a sage right?  
  
Link: Huh? Tingle? Come on you gotta be kiddin me.  
  
Tingle: It's true, Rauru said so!  
  
Link: Pppsssshhhh, Rauru, that ol lard bucket? He wouldn't know a donkey from a danish, as long as it's got sprinkles on it.  
  
Saria: Um link....  
  
Link: Not now Saria, I tell ya what, after you've spent 7 years with Rauru, you'd spend 70 just trying to find people willing to exercise.  
  
Saria: Uh, Link..  
  
Link: Just a minute Saria, anyway where was I? Oh yes, how FAT Rauru is, I mean he even makes ol Darunia here look like well..... thin.  
  
Saria: LINK!  
  
Link: What is it Saria?!  
  
Saria: Um.... nothing.  
  
Link: He's behind me isn't he?  
  
All nod.  
  
Link: *sighs*  
  
Rauru: Fat am I? FAT!? ME!? I should eat you for that! But what with you being the Hero of Time and all, I have to leave you alone. But the minute your license is up, *eat gesture*  
  
Link: *gulp*  
  
Navi: ANYWAY!  
  
Malon: I guess we should hurry up and do this dungeon huh?  
  
Tingle: An excellent idea, and I've got just the thing for you! *holds up a map for the room they are in* But it'll cost you!  
  
Link: How much?  
  
Tingle: 5000 rupees, not a shard less.  
  
Link: WHAT! THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS!   
  
Tingle: Do you want it or not? *holds it over a lava tunnel*  
  
Link: Ya ya, give it to me. *pays him*  
  
Tingle: Thankyou! *hands him the map and disappears*  
  
Link: Hey hey HEY! This is only one room! I'll get you for this Tingle! You'll pay!  
  
Malon: Stop shouting Link.  
  
Link: Sorry.  
  
Rauru: Farewell! *disappears*  
  
Purplelink: He means fatwell.  
  
Rauru: I HEARD THAT!  
  
All: Eep!  
  
All run off.  
  
Well, that was, um..... exciting! Now let's see there is one other character... *looks at list* Check.... done it..... yep..... oh here we are.  
  
The middle of Kakariko Village(again) everyone was going about their daily business, when *poof* out of no where, came a shadowy figure, with a red eye.  
  
Shiek: At last, I'm free! *does a little dance* Okay, now I'm done. Hmm, what shall I do first.... I KNOW let's go see Impa.  
  
*Inside her head*  
  
Zelda: NO! We must go find Link and the others and tell them I'm safe!  
  
Shiek: As if, that would be like so lame girlfriend, We're goin partyin!  
  
*Normal world*  
  
Shiek: WOOOO! Party at Links house!  
  
Everyone crams in and starts well..... partying.  
  
Impa: TURN DOWN THAT RACKET! *throws.... something harmful*  
  
Okay then..... well back to the mountain!  
  
Redlink: Guys! *runs around looking for people* Guys come on, this isn't funny! Guys!?  
  
Okay.... let's check on someone else.  
  
Darunia: Zzzzzzzzz....  
  
Great.... let's try again.  
  
Saria: Hello? hello?  
  
Bluelink: BAH!  
  
Saria: AHhhH!   
  
Bluelink: AHHHHH! *higher pitch than her*  
  
Saria: Link! You scared me!  
  
Bluelink: Well you scared me!  
  
Saria: Well, you scared me first!  
  
Bluelink: Nu uhhh, you scared me first!  
  
One hour later  
  
Bluelink: No you scared me first!  
  
Malon: STOP IT!  
  
Saria&Bluelink: Stopping right now. *both stop, funny how that works*  
  
Malon: Now come on!  
  
*Leads them away*  
  
Malon: Link is just around the corner, and he..... *sigh*  
  
Link: HA HA! Take that ye villainous wretch! *stabbing a dead Dinolfos, over and over*  
  
Malon: Link.... I just killed that thing, leave it be.  
  
Link: Heh...., what do you mean you killed it? I mean, why would a helpless farmgirl do that, when a sword wielding hero is about?  
  
Malon: Because you were scared of the skulltula?  
  
Link: Oh right, that's it.  
  
Malon rolls her eyes, then leds them all along back to the center room.  
  
Darunia: Zzzzz......  
  
Malon: GET UP!  
  
Darunia: Huh... what? Oh hi there, I was just er.... just uh.... umm...  
  
Malon: Not watching for other people like I told you?  
  
Darunia: No, I was.... yes that would be it.  
  
Malon: Am I the ONLY smart one around here?  
  
Navi: NOPE! I'm here!  
  
Link: Ya, you build confidence Navi, oh yeah.  
  
Navi: Shut up, atleast I could kill something if I had to.  
  
Link: Allow me to demonstrate my ability! *draws sword*  
  
Darunia: Now now, we don't need any of that.  
  
Saria: Ya, leave Navi alone.  
  
Redlink: AHHHHHH! *runs through, somehow grabbing Malon is the process*  
  
Malon: Come on guys! Maybe he knows where he's going!  
  
Navi: Think about what you just said.  
  
Malon: Oh yeah.... right.....  
  
So they all set off to chase after her, and hope, of all hope that they can stop Redlink's running.  
  
Will I ever stop doing this thing? No, not for this fic anyway.  
  
Will Redlink ever stop running? Will Malon ever get free? Let's hope.  
  
Will Zelda ever regain control of her body? Sure.  
  
Will Vaati reappear? Duh stupid! What kind of a story would it be without a villain?  
  
Will I update more frequently? Keep your fingers crossed.  
  
Will Mario and Luigi be able to find the princess?  
  
Will I ever remember all the characters that I've left all over the place doing this or that? Yes, next chapter.  
  
Will this segment stop? I can definatly say that yes this will indeed s.....  
  
Don't forget to read and then review! Remember, without reviews, I can't better write to serve you better, so send in those reviews. 


	9. The Dungeons Master!

A/N: Alright, now then, before the first stone is cast *gets hit with five stones* Owww, I SAID BEFORE! *gets ice pack* Now then, BEFORE you stone me, let me explain why I havent' updated in well over a month, if not two. I've been busy with this and that, primarily trying to finish school for the year and what not. Also my sister is getting married later this month, so for the past several months I've had to make many a trip to where she lives, which equals a 600 mile round trip every time. And I've been hard at work over at www.zeldauniverse.net writing for a coop fan fiction there. That is where most of my time is spent honestly. But I decided that this fic needed a new chapter, and now is the time to do it. Also, don't think that I'm going to let this fic die, for two reasons. #1 I don't like to leave things unfinished and #2 If I were going to let it die, I'd tell you, not just, well, let it die. So before I ramble on anymore, I'll start it now, and hope that something good comes of it.  
  
Chapter Nine: The dungeon's master!   
  
*Scene: The narrarator fast asleep.*  
  
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..... just five more minutes.... zzzzzzzzz...... Gah, huh?! What? Who goes there! Oh, it's you! Yes you, the reader. I was wondering if you were ever going to come back. Anyway, back to Death Mountain with you.  
  
Redlink: AHhhhhhh! *keeps running, whilst carrying Malon*  
  
Malon: Put me down Link! *beats on Link's head repeatedly*  
  
The rest: Slow down Link! Come back!!!  
  
For the better part of two hours they run around in circles until Redlink finally tires out, and falls down. When he falls down, he lands on a peculiarly shaped rock, and causes a trap door to open beneathe: Darunia, Saria, Malon, and, no just them.  
  
Link: Malon!  
  
Bluelink: Darunia!  
  
Purplelink: Saria!  
  
Redlink: Ahhhhhhh, wait, what was I screaming about?  
  
Link: Forget it, let's go! *grabs Bluelink's hand, who grabs the next Link's hand, etc.* It's time to show em what we're made of!  
  
Bluelink: Well, our knees are jello....  
  
Purplelink: Our spines are missing...  
  
Redlink: But we're Heros! We don't need all that junk! Let's go! *everyone jumps in*  
  
Links: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *etc...* SMACK! SMASH! SLAM! Squishy....  
  
About five hours later  
  
Link: Uh....... Legs... not... moving!  
  
Bluelink: I can't feel my arms! I CAN'T FEEL MY ARMS!  
  
Purplelink: *unconscious*  
  
Redlink: What's wrong with you guys? *is jogging in place*  
  
Link and Link just stare at him angrily and blink. In due time everyone gets up and walks around, taking in their new surroundings. They are in a cavern, with odd scratchings on the walls, and a path of foot prints leading out of the room.  
  
Link: So how far down do you suppose we are?  
  
Bluelink: I have no clue.  
  
Purplelink: Yeah, that's helpful...  
  
Redlink: If I had to guess, I'd say we are about, 3000 feet below sea level, if I had to guess.  
  
Link, Link and Link stare at him confused and curious. Without another word, they all walk off in their original direction. For some time they walk, until they hear a loud roaring, and screaming, and crying, and snoreing.  
  
Link: Malon! She's in trouble!  
  
Purplelink: Saria! She's hurt!  
  
Bluelink: Darunia! Is asleep again?! How many hours do goron's sleep? I mean, really.  
  
Redlink: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!   
  
ThreeLinks: What is it now!?  
  
Redlink points up at the beast overshadowing them, which just so happens to be, a mighty dragon flying through the air. On their other side is a large Dodongo. Drawing their blades, they prepared for battle.  
  
Malon: Link! Hurry up!   
  
Shouting from her current condition, Malon was hanging over a pit of lava, tied up by ropes. Darunia was snoreing soundly on a rock, and Saria was crying because she scraped her knee.   
  
Link held up his shield to block the firey attack from Volvagia, as the other three were trying to avoid the vicious bowling of King Dodongo. Seeing bombs around them, and a chance to kill the rolling lizard, they started throwing bombs as fast as they could. A few hit the King, a few hit the dragon, but alot hit Link.  
  
Link: Hey! Guys, watch it will ya?  
  
And fight on they did.  
  
Well, that is enough of that rot, let's go see how our other peoples fair.  
  
In Kakariko.   
  
Shiek: WOOOOO! Partay! *dances with other Kakarikans(???)*  
  
Zelda: Shiek, stop this at once! I warn you!  
  
Shiek: Quit your whining Zelda, you can't do nothin to me.  
  
Zelda: I can whine....  
  
Shiek: You wouldn't....  
  
Zelda: *whines horribly for, well, anything and everything*  
  
Shiek: Ahhh, stop it, stop it now!  
  
Zelda: But but but... I want to save Link!!!!!!!!! *pouts*  
  
Shiek: Oh fine, we'll go, just stop it!  
  
Zelda: *sniff* Okay.  
  
Shiek throws down a deku nut which makes her disappear into a bright flash of light, and vanishes.  
  
Off, somewhere, deep in the forest.  
  
Loui: I'm gonna take a shot in the dark, and say that Link isn't coming to get me out.  
  
Jim: Most likely.  
  
Loui: Got any ideas for how we can get me out?  
  
Jim: Not likely.  
  
Loui: Are you always going to repeat words?  
  
Jim: Very likely.  
  
Loui: Forget it.  
  
Okay... anyway, back to the volcano.....  
  
Link: HA! Take that ye fiend! *stabbing at nothing*  
  
Malon: Link, they're already dead, just give it up will you?  
  
Link: Never!  
  
Bluelink climbs out from underneathe the dead form of King Dodongo, and dusts himself off, while helping Purplelink out from underneathe the rock he was hiding under. Redlink was the one who slew both monsters, unintentionally of course. He threw his sword up, which landed in Volvagia's head, which caused him to breathe fire on the King, killing them both.  
  
Saria: Can we just go now?  
  
Navi flies in, who had been absent before hand.   
  
Malon: Navi? Where were you?  
  
Navi: Um, no where.... *tries to hide something behind her tiny fairy body*  
  
Link grabs hold of her and shakes her violently, spilling out tons of rupees and an odd looking cape.  
  
Link: Ooo, shinies! *starts scooping up all the rupees he can hold.  
  
Bluelink: Rupees! *follows suit*  
  
Purplelink: Navi, where did you put all these rupees?  
  
Redlink: And where did you get this awsome cape?! Whoopee! *jumps high and floats*  
  
Navi: I found them in a chest, and put them away in my uber secret fairy pouch... ah man, there goes the secret.  
  
Darunia: You have a pouch?  
  
Navi: Shhhh, a secret pouch, but since you all asked so nicely, I'll tell you about it.  
  
Saria: But you already did.  
  
Navi: No I didn't.  
  
Saria: Yes you... oh nevermind.  
  
Navi proceeds to tell them a story, that amazes and shocks everyone. After she is done, they all begin the long hike out of the mountain where they will end up later back at Kakariko Village.  
  
Here we go again.  
  
Will I ever get anymore ideas for this fic? I hope so, otherwise it will go down the drain in the next chapter or two.  
  
Will anyone else read this fic? Probably not.  
  
Will anyone care that it is forsaken? Not many.  
  
Will our heros live to tell their tale? Not if I can help it, heh.  
  
Will I just stop doing this alre.....  
  
A/N: Hmm, total randomness there. Oh well.   
  
Okay, read and review and what not, but I tell you this now. If I do not get more readers, and useful reviews that help and encourage me, this fic is coming to an abrupt end soon. I don't really have lots of time for it, and am scrapeing the bottom of the idea barrel. I'll try my best to give it a few more chapters, but DON'T be surprised if it ends before 15 chapters. Maybe 12, maybe. That is, if I don't start getting useful reviews that let me know that people are reading it. If you want to read my fiction, then go read my Metroid story, or go to www.zeldauniverse.net /forums and go to the fic/art section, and look for a story called "The War of the Triforce - Legends" there you will find 20+ pages of fiction, done by several authors. I am known there as KamikazeCow, if you want zelda fiction, go there and read that. 


	10. The Randomness Filled End

A/N: I'll be honest with you, I don't like this fic much anymore. It is ending(as I said in the previous chapter) soon. I'll try to atleast give it a nice ending, but I wish to have it done and gone. Thank you for the all of, eh, 3 reviews I got? Only two were long, and even then they were nice, but not enough of a reason to continue this fic beyond this chapter.   
  
I'll warn you now, I was on a caffiene high for most of this chapter, and am so just eh... blahed right now, that this chapter is going to be very weird.  
  
Chapter Ten: The Randomness Filled End  
  
When last we left our heros, they were steadily venturing towards Kakariko village.... again. But since we've been there, done that, we're going to speed things up a bit. narrator uses fun narrator-only powers to wisk the adventurers away, sending them to Lake Hylia.  
  
Curious mist clears  
  
Link: Whoa? What was that?  
  
Malon: I don't know, but I'm sure its your fault.  
  
Redlink: Now now, lets not be getting to hasty conclusions.  
  
Navi: Are you defending him?  
  
Redlink: Well... no... I just..  
  
Bluelink: Hey guys look! Water! WOOOO! Last one in is a.. eh.... tecktite!   
  
All stand looking at him with raised eyebrow and look of curiosity. He then proceeds to race towards the shore, pulling off his tunic and diving in the frigid waters of Lake Hylia.  
  
Bluelink: GAHHHHHHH! Its cold!  
  
Purplelink: Of course it is idiot, its a lake.  
  
Bluelink: That doesn't help me very much....  
  
StrangeYetFamiliarVoice: I'll help you, linky.  
  
Bluelink: GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Link: Gahhh!   
  
Redlink: Gahhh!!!  
  
Purplelink: Gahhhh! Wait.... why are we screaming?!  
  
Bluelink: That's why! running out of the water, putting tunic back on quickly  
  
SYFV: Come back linky!  
  
Saria: YOU!  
  
Ruto: YOU!  
  
Bluelink: Oh boy... here we go again.....  
  
5 hours of cat fighting later  
  
Link: So...... now what?  
  
Malon: How about we go and rescue zelda? Or is that even our quest anymore?  
  
All Links: Oh yeah... that.  
  
Loui: Hey Link! I'm finally free!  
  
Link: Who are you! draws sword  
  
Redlink: Yeah! draws sword  
  
Purplelink: Now now....  
  
All: Oh shut up!  
  
Bluelink: runs in front of all, protecting Loui WAIT! This is my friend! Well, sorta.  
  
Navi: Yeah? Well who's that! points...err.... flies towards Jim  
  
Darunia: Oh! Why that's Jim! How are you brother?  
  
Jim: I'm doing good, thankyou brother.  
  
Most: Oh... okay...  
  
Navi: Am I the only one who finds this suspicious?  
  
Malon: You find everything suspicious.  
  
Navi: So?  
  
Saria: ANYWAY!  
  
Ruto: Where were we? tackles Saria  
  
Saria: Owww! punches Ruto  
  
Malon: STOP IT!   
  
Both: Okay..... Sneer  
  
1 hours passes with no one saying a word.  
  
Link: So..... what do we do now?  
  
Redlink: Go horseback riding?  
  
Purplelink: Go swimming?  
  
Bluelink: No no, anything but swimming.  
  
Ruto: Awww come on Linky!  
  
Bluelink: I told you not to call me that! draws sword  
  
Ruto: Oh linky, you're so cute when you're ang...... coughs up blood You stabbed me.... YOU STABBED ME!  
  
Bluelink: Ha ha! Yes I did! stabs some more  
  
Link: Hey that looks like fun! joins in, as do the other links  
  
Ruto: Ehhhh........... dies  
  
Saria: You killed Ruto! ..... Hurray! kicks Ruto's dead body  
  
Loui: Well.... what should we do with her?  
  
Darunia: LET'S EAT HER!  
  
Everyone gives Darunia a very questioning and disgusted look.  
  
Darunia: What?  
  
Tingle: I'm with tubby! has bib on, and fork and knife in hand Let's eat!  
  
All four links get in a huddle, do some discussing amongest themselves, finally turning around with a consensus.  
  
Link: Okay, let's eat.  
  
Malon: You can't be serious....  
  
Redlink: Why not?  
  
Bluelink: already cutting her up and preparing the peices for cooking  
  
Purplelink: Eh.... I'll start the fire! goes about doing just that  
  
Navi: Glad I'm a vegetarian.  
  
Link: What are you talking about? I saw you licking your lips at the mention of roasted fish.  
  
Navi: Oh yes.. well.. I.... Oh alright, lets eat!  
  
Bright lights flash all around, and a beam of light falls on Navi. A strange voice can be heard.  
  
StrangeVoiceWhichCanBeHeard: Navi! Thou art not to eat meat and thou knowest it!  
  
Navi: Gulp  
  
StrangeVoiceWhichCanBeHeard: Because thou hast sought to do thus, thou shalt be changed from thy innocence as a fairy, into a hideous beast!  
  
Navi: No! Not that! ANYTHING BUT THAT!  
  
StrangeVoiceWhichCanBeHeard: SILENCE! goes about the transforming process  
  
Navi: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is consumed with a bright light  
  
When the light clears, a 20 foot or so woman is standing in its place, and with blue hair.  
  
Navi: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Link: Gah! My eyes! It's so hideous.... what is it?  
  
StrangeVoiceWhichCanBeHeard: Behold! The Great Fairy of Annoyance!  
  
Navi: Why!  
  
Link: Why!?  
  
Loui: Yay! I'm not the ugliest one anymore!  
  
Darunia: Me neither.  
  
Jim: Nor I.  
  
Navi: Why me!?  
  
Tingle: Tough break Navi.  
  
Navi: turning a glaring at Tingle with pure hatred and anger filled eyes YOU! This is your fault! You tempted me to eat meat! Now you shall succomb to it! grabs Tingle and crams him down her throat, making her belly extend greatly, and looking quite fat  
  
Links: Whoa....   
  
Tingle: barely audible Hello! Can anyone hear me! Help! Ah... what is that? Ahhh! It burns! It bur........ is consumed  
  
Navi: earth shattering belch, plus drool Ah... that's nice... pats huge belly  
  
Link: So.... anyway.... Um... lets go eh over there! runs towards the Lakeside Observatory, followed by everyone except for Navi, who sits down, to... digest?....  
  
Once inside, everyone starts playing with all sorts of fun things which are scattered about.  
  
Link: Hey cool! An indoor pool! Hey Darunia! Lets go for a swim! kicks Darunia in  
  
Darunia: But... I can't swim! falls in, and drowns  
  
Redlink: Hmm... lets try him! kicks Jim in  
  
Jim: I can't swim either! drowns as well  
  
Loui: Jim!  
  
Bluelink: Oops....  
  
Purplelink: Hey guys! Check this out! turns around holding a.. thing I wonder what it does?  
  
Link: I don't know....  
  
Malon: You should probably put that down, it looks important.  
  
Saria: Find out what it does!  
  
Purplelink: Okay! pulls off a cover, which was concealing a stone eyeball Hmm... points it at Malon  
  
Malon: What is that supposed to.... turns to stone  
  
Purplelink: screams like a little girl and throws the stone in the water  
  
Loui: I'm getting out of here before anything else happens! runs outside and sits with Navi  
  
Link: Hmm....   
  
DisfiguredOldMan: Eh?! Who goes there!   
  
Links: Gahhh!   
  
Saria: Looks like Navi isn't the ugliest one anymore....  
  
DOM: Eeh? What's that? Speak up missy!  
  
Saria: I SAID!   
  
Link: slaps a hand over Saria's mouth She said what a lovely place you have here. throws Saria outside  
  
DOM: Oh.. I see. Well, what can I help you boys with?  
  
Link: We were just wondering what these fun things you have in here are..  
  
DOM: Oh, I see. Well, this is the ancient weapon known as the Master Sword.. and this  
  
Link: Wait wait wait, the Master Sword? Blade of evil's Bane, Master Sword?  
  
DOM: Yes, that's the one.  
  
Link: But its supposed to be in the Temple of Time, keeping Ganon locked away.  
  
DOM: Oh yes that one, well that's the display model, this is the real sword.  
  
Redlink: You're kidding right?  
  
DOM: I never kid.  
  
Bluelink: whispers to Purplelink I bet he never was one either, what is he? 1000 years old?  
  
DOM: I heard that.  
  
Bluelink: But how? You're hearing it bad you said.  
  
DOM: Eh, comes and goes. smacks Bluelink with a stick  
  
Purplelink: So how do we unstone her? points at Malon  
  
DOM: You don't.  
  
Purplelink: What do you mean we don't? There has to be some antidote!  
  
DOM: Nope. Now get out, I've got things to do. smacks them all out with a stick   
  
Outside.  
  
Link: Well that weird...  
  
Inside.  
  
DOM: Ahh..... stares at Malon Its been a long time since I've had a lady friend.  
  
Malon: inside the stone covering HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Her screams are not heard  
  
Outside.  
  
Bluelink: Hey.... where's Loui?   
  
Link: I don't know... what's Navi doing?   
  
Navi can be seen hunched over, with her back turned to them, she is vigorously biting at something.  
  
Redlink: I don't know, lets go find out.  
  
All walk over.  
  
Purplelink: Eh... Navi? What are you doing?  
  
Navi: Muffled Nothing!  
  
All walk around, to see blood running down to Navi's feet from her mouth, and bones scattered everywhere.  
  
Bluelink: Navi.... have you seen Loui?  
  
Navi: Oh yes, he went that way! points to a far distant corner, which just so happens to be the lake  
  
Link: Okay... where is Saria?  
  
Saria: Here I am! climbs up from Navi's back, and sits on her shoulder  
  
Redlink: What are you doing Saria?  
  
Saria: I've always had fairies sitting on my shoulder, so I wanted to know what it was like, and Navi's the biggest person around.  
  
Bluelink: Aren't you afraid she'll eat you?  
  
Saria: Oh no, I'm not big enough to fill her up.  
  
Navi: Yep! pats Saria's head  
  
Purplelink: But she ate Tingle, who wasn't much bigger than you.  
  
Navi: Oh yes, but he made me mad, and was the reason I'm like this, so I that's why I ate him.  
  
Saria: Yeah, and besides, she just ate.  
  
Navi: whispering Shhhh, exnay....  
  
Bluelink: Just ate.... just ate what?  
  
Saria: Just ate..... is grabbed by Navi and her mouth held shut  
  
Navi: Just ate a eh... um.... Fish. Yes a fish.  
  
Link: So you ate a zora?  
  
Navi: Um... yes.  
  
Link: Then why are there Moblin bones all around your feet?  
  
Bluelink: Moblin..... Loui!  
  
Saria: pops head out of Navi's grip That's what I was trying to tell you  
  
Navi: Saria!  
  
Link: Navi! Couldn't you have eaten something else? Like.. um.... the fish store guy?  
  
Navi: Oh no, I'm saving him for later.  
  
Bluelink: So is there anyone you won't eat?  
  
Navi: Um.... Saria, she's my friend, and you guys, since I'm your guardian fairy or something.  
  
Link: And?  
  
Navi: Um... if we ever find her, I won't eat the princess, too much hair coloring.  
  
Purplelink: Okay.... well speaking of which, shouldn't we go find the princess?  
  
Navi: Probably.  
  
Saria: Couldn't hurt.  
  
Link: Alright then, lets go! plays Ocarina, to call Epona   
  
Redlink: But how are we all supposed to travel, Epona can still only carry two people.  
  
Link: Yeah, you're right, you'll just have to find a way. Gets on, followed by Purplelink  
  
Purplelink: Good luck guys!  
  
Bluelink: Man... now what are we going to do?  
  
Navi: Stands up and grabs Redlink and Bluelink's collars I'm all the travel you need! turns them horizontal under her arms and takes to the air in flight, Saria is able to stay put because of her sagey powers  
  
3 long hours later at Hyrule Castle.  
  
Link: I wonder where they are?  
  
Purplelink: Beats me....  
  
Navi: lands behind them Heya! drops both Links, who immediatly kiss the ground, glad to be on it again  
  
Link: Hey guys!  
  
Redlink: Don't you hey me!  
  
Bluelink: That was the worst experiance of my life, you'll pay for abandoning us! All draw their swords  
  
Link: Hiya!  
  
Bluelink: Eya!  
  
Purplelink: Can't we be friends?  
  
Redlink: NO! tackles  
  
The fight continues for about an hour.  
  
Link: Die!  
  
Redlink: Never!  
  
Bluelink: Ahhh! dashes  
  
Purplelink: Ahh! dashes as well  
  
Navi: Can I eat the loser?....  
  
All look at her with an angered face.  
  
Navi: Just asking.... sheesh....  
  
All four Links fight for a bit more, then with blood all over them they charge at one another, all four Four Swords meeting in the middle, and right as they clashed, and lightening bolt from above crashes through their midst, leaving a crater.  
  
Saria: What is it?  
  
Navi: Is it edible?  
  
Link: Its....  
  
Redlink: Its...  
  
Bluelink: Its....  
  
Purplelink: Its...  
  
NewPerson: Its me, Link.  
  
All: What?  
  
NewPerson: Yep, its me, Link, only younger.  
  
Link: Huh?  
  
Younglink: Its like this stupid, your swords all clashed together at the exact same moment, generating alot of power, which drew the lightening bolt down, which acted as a conductor across your blood, which then spawned new cells, and eventually made me.   
  
Redlink: Really?  
  
Younglink: No stupid, it brought me here from the past.  
  
Link: Oh...  
  
Younglink: So thanks alot idiots, I was doing just fine in the past, but then you're stupid swords brought me forward. Morons.  
  
Saria: Yay! My Link is back!  
  
YoungLink: Hello Saria... gah! What in the world?  
  
Navi: Hi Link!  
  
YoungLink: Navi?  
  
Navi: Yep.  
  
YoungLink: You're... huge?.... What happened?  
  
Navi: Long story, I'll tell you over say... dinner?  
  
Link: No you most certainly will not Navi.  
  
Navi: Aww come on, I had to try!  
  
Redlink: Whispering to Younglink Just stay away from her, and you'll be fine.  
  
Purplelink: So now what?  
  
Ominous clouds gather, and from them another large blot of lightening comes down, creating a shadowy form. It laughs, and then snatches Saria from off of Navi's shoulder with a tentacle like appendage.  
  
Vaati: Hahaha, At last I've fou.... wait a minute, you're not the princess.  
  
Link: Hands off the forest girl!  
  
Redlink: Wooo! Fight!  
  
Bluelink: We must win!  
  
Purplelink: I... oh forget it, lets just go at it.  
  
Navi: Saria! Are you alright?  
  
Saria: I think so.... ugh.  
  
Younglink: Hands off of her creep! puts on a very dark looking mask AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!   
  
Link: Whoa... I remember that mask... say now, where'd I put that anyway?  
  
Younglink: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! transforms into Fierce Deity Link, or eh, just Fierce Link  
  
Saria: Whoa...  
  
Navi: Whoa....  
  
Vaati: Eh.... that can't be good.  
  
FierceLink: RAAAAAA! swings huge sword, releasing huge blasts of energy Die! Die! DIE! swings some more  
  
Vaati: Ouch... okay okay, you can have her! throws her into the air  
  
Link: I got her!  
  
Redlink: I got her, I got her!  
  
Bluelink No I've got her!  
  
Purplelink: Got her.. got her...  
  
All four of the links slam into each other, knocking themselves down.  
  
FierceLink: I've got her. catches Saria in one arm  
  
Saria: My hero!  
  
FierceLink: Eh, yeah, whatever, Busy can't talk now. Gently sets Saria down Now where was I.... Oh yes... I remember... DIE!!!!!!!!! attacks Vaati many a time  
  
Vaati: Ahhhhhhhhhh... shrivels up, and disappears in a puff of smoke  
  
A pipe comes up from the ground, spitting out two plumber guys.  
  
Mario: Itsa me!  
  
Luigi: Anda me! The two strike a pose  
  
Navi: Okay... and who are you?  
  
Voice from roof: It's the Mario Bros.  
  
Navi: Oh.... Say now,   
  
Link: NO NAVI!  
  
Navi: Pouts  
  
FierceLink: Aren't any of your curious about that voice from the roof? Or are you all four bigger morons than I thought?  
  
Redlink: Oh yeah, what was that?  
  
VoiceFromRoof: It was me. jumps down Sheik.  
  
Purplelink: Chic?  
  
Sheik: No, Sheik. Like Sheikah?  
  
Bluelink: Oh....  
  
Purplelink: So... Chicah?  
  
Sheik: Oh nevermind, I can't stand your stupidity anymore, they're all yours Zelda. transforms to Zelda  
  
Zelda: Thankyou Sheik. And thankyou Link for destroying Vaati, now then Link, Link, Link and Link, we've got to get the Four Sword back to its resting place so as to insure the seal upon Vaati.  
  
AllFourLinks: Okay!  
  
FierceLink: I'm out of here.disappears, presumedly to the past  
  
All venture to the Four Swords Pedestal. For a tearful parting.  
  
Link: Link!   
  
Redlink: Link!  
  
Bluelink: Link!  
  
Purplelink: Link!   
  
All four cry on one another's shoulders.  
  
Zelda: Oh get a grip guys.  
  
Saria: I think its sweet.  
  
Navi: Sweet! Where!  
  
Link: I'll miss you Link.  
  
Zelda: Guys..  
  
Redlink: And I you Link.  
  
Bluelink: What about me?  
  
Zelda: Guys...  
  
Purplelink: We'll all miss each other, just as much.  
  
Zelda: Guys!  
  
Links: Yes?  
  
Zelda: Once you put the sword back into place, you'll all be merged back into one. So all your memories will become one Link, instead of Four, so you'll still be with one another.  
  
Links: Oh.... Okay then! Lets do it! Link holds up his sword, and all the others are quickly drawn back into him, as he shoves the sword back into the pedestal  
  
Link: Whoa... brain freeze! drops to the ground  
  
Zelda: Well, now that is finished, Navi! Will you please stop sniffing my hair!  
  
Navi: Sorry....  
  
Link: Geh... so uh I suppose that's it huh?  
  
Zelda: Yes, just about, except we have to find a way to turn Navi back to normal.  
  
Link: Maybe not....  
  
Scene change, to Lon Lon Ranch  
  
Talon: Malon? You sure have gotten bigger... and... don't take this the wrong way darlin, but also uglier.  
  
Ingo: That isn't Malon, its....  
  
Navi: shoves Ingo down her throat, and into the abyss below Yes father, I have gotten bigger, and somewhat uglier, but I'm here to help! All I need is some milk to drink and a cow to eat every now and then.  
  
Talon: Okay darlin, whatever you want.  
  
Scene change to Hyrule Castle  
  
Link: See, what did I tell you?   
  
Zelda: I suppose... but what happened to Malon?  
  
Scene change to Lakeside Observatory  
  
DOM: And then he said to me...  
  
Malon: Make it stop... please... make it stop...  
  
Scene change back to Hyrule Castle  
  
Toad: I'm sorry Mario! But our princess is in another castle!  
  
Mario: Oh no!  
  
Luigi: Aww no....  
  
centerTHE END/center 


End file.
